Month: September 2007

Categories
Fulfillment

What is patience?

As I’ve been working on patience a lot lately (okay, always), I’ve had occasion to think about it quite a bit as well. And I realized that I don’t always know what patience is.

I’ve been surprised to find that there was actually a lag between losing my temper and losing my patience. I think that having a lag there is a big improvement over going to straight to losing my patience!

Okay, I know that sounded a little esoteric, so here’s a more concrete explanation: I’ve realized that the more I work on patience, I have still gotten angry or frustrated (lost my temper)—but I hadn’t yet acted on that to “lose my patience.”

I’ve been disappointed with myself for losing my temper as I’m working on developing patience. But when I lose my temper, if I haven’t yet acted in anger, I don’t think I’ve lost my patience. If I recognize how I’m feeling, and stop and make an effort not to act in anger, I can calm down and keep my patience.

Does that sound like an artificial distinction? I thought it was, especially when I lost my temper and my patience happened in the same instant. But the more I think about it, and the more of a gap I can create between losing my temper and losing my patience, the more I believe that this is a sign of progress. As long as I keep choosing to calm myself down, anyway.

Of course, that’s the thing with patience—it’s something you get to work on forever, since it can be so easy to lose! And once I start getting better about being patient (you know, in ten or fifteen years) (only half joking), I can work on not getting angry, either.

Categories
Random

Word crazy!

Wow, I’ve been kind of slacking off at . . . well, everything lately. I had a dream—no, it’s not quite that inspiring, though it has inspired me to write a story.

The story has turned out to be a lot longer than I’d anticipated. Like right now I’m on chapter nine of a story I thought would max out at fifteen pages.

So I’ve been a bit word crazy lately. I was wondering just how addled my poor little mind had gotten, so I did a little math:

A little less than 25,000 words in the story + About 1850 words on MamaBlogga + Just under 4000 words on Marketing Pilgrim (not including large quotations from other articles/blockquotes) = Around 30,000 words.

If that’s not enough to boggle your mind, let’s add this to the equation:

~30,000 words
10 days

Three. Thousand. Words. A day. Even NaNoWriMo only takes 1700 words a day!

Speaking of which, if I did end up getting to 50,000 words in the story within 30 days, do you think I should qualify myself as a winner? The FAQ says no. Pity. I’ll probably have lost my mind entirely by the time NaNoWriMo starts on November 1.

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Hayden’s First Haircut

Saturday I gave Hayden’s first haircut. It’s a good thing he’s too young to be embarrassed by its quality!

Before
Before haircut
 
before haircut (back)
 
During
During haircut
 
After
After haircut

Don’t worry, I saw that one long piece of bangs on his right and went back and got it—all too well, I’m afraid!

(Just to be perfectly clear: in July, I trimmed the hair above his ears and his bangs. I call this his first “trim,” and Saturday his first “haircut.” I saved some hair from both. I’m crazy like that.)

Categories
MetaBlogging

A MamaBlogga milestone

Well, that was the most frustrating 90 minutes of my day. And I was so sure it was going to be Hayden’s 90 minutes of tantrums and random crying. I’ve been working on something cool with Blogger, but every time I try to save changes to the template, I get a 404 error. Not to mention absolutely no documentation on this issue in New Blogger.

So, now all I’m left with is this announcement: MamaBlogga reached 200 readers today!MamaBlogga reaches 200 subscribers

Thank you all! It’s pretty mindboggling that my little mom blog is growing up so fast (let alone my son). Can we get to know one another? If you haven’t commented before (and even if you have), feel free to introduce yourself here! And don’t forget to connect with me!

Categories
Fulfillment Faith

To be a better mother

I’m not, in general, a bad mother. But I’m also not always the best mother that I can be. I’ve found that these three things, when I do them, make me a better mother:

1. Focus. By focus, I mean that I focus on Hayden. I really find that I enjoy my son and motherhood in general a lot more when I stop trying to get so much else done. Yes, I have to keep the house clean and my family fed, but when I spend most of my time just caring for and playing with Hayden, we both have a better day (even when the sink’s full of dishes).

2. Patience. I’m really, really working on this one because I’m not usually a patient person (especially not with family members, as sad as that is). The funny thing about patience is, of course, that even once you’ve become more patient, you get to “work” on it your whole life. It’s not like you just magically wave a wand and nothing ever upsets you again—even if it’s less frequent (which is what I’m striving toward now), our patience isn’t always perfect in this life.

3. Faith. This is in many ways interrelated with #2, because I’m using my faith to try to improve my patience. But my faith affects more of my parenting than that. It does give a long list of principles and lessons that I’m responsible for teaching my children, but it also provides me with sustaining power. I’ve had mornings where I can’t get out of bed because I’m exhausted and Hayden wakes up an hour and a half earlier than normal, and the only way I ever get out of bed on those days is after fervent prayer.

I’m far from perfect—and honestly, I know I won’t become perfect in this life, and certainly not by my own power—but when I do these three things, I enjoy motherhood more and I feel as though I’m a better mother!

What attributes or skills make you feel like a better mother?

This post is part of Mommy Zabs’ group writing project. The late part.

Categories
Fulfillment Faith

How can I show a mother that I appreciate what she does?

Whether you want to show your own mother, the mother of your children, or just a good friend how much you appreciate what she does as a mother, first of all, let me thank you! Moms everywhere could use more appreciation.

Here seven ideas on how to show the mother in your life that you appreciate her:

  1. Write her a thank you note or letter. Be as specific as possible. (Need some ideas? Check out the twenty-nine great entries for the “Thanks, Mom” Group Writing Project!)
  2. Give her some time off. Offer to babysit her children, or arrange for someone you both trust to watch her (or both of your) children and take her out!
  3. Get her a thoughtful gift. Something that she likes is best: however she likes to treat herself. Whether that’s chocolates or a bubble bath. Be sure to include a note telling her to take some time to enjoy herself!
  4. Get her a pretty gift. For the last few years at Christmas, I’ve given my husband a gift list which always ends with “Something to make me feel beautiful.” For some women, this is jewelry, or make up, or nice clothing. For others, it could be a nicely framed picture of her that looks particularly attractive. For others, it could be pampering at home or at a spa.
  5. Tell her what a good job she’s doing. Even the most confident of mothers sometimes struggles with feelings of inadequacy. Those reassuring words can echo back to her the next time she doubts her abilities as a mother.
  6. Pray for her. If you’re religious, you understand what a strengthening effect a prayer of faith can have. Studies have even shown that people who were sick recovered more quickly when people prayed for them—even if they didn’t know they were praying. Imagine what it could do for your favorite mother!
  7. Just say it. Tell her, “Jeanette, I think it’s great that you’re a mom. A mother’s work is so important, and I’m glad that you’re involved in your kids lives that way.”

Now it’s your turn: what’s the best way for your spouse, kids or friends to show you that they appreciate what you do as a mother?

(PS: I hope all of your spouses, parents, neighbors and friends type that question into the search engine of their choice and end up here!)