Categories
Fulfillment

Creating fulfillment

It’s been more than a year since I last asked how I can help you:

I would love to help you find fulfillment in motherhood. I’m working on it, too, but I think we can help each other. I know that for every mother that values herself in her calling as a mother, I feel strengthened and heartened.

So what can I do to help you find fulfillment in motherhood? What do you struggle with? How can I remind you of the true worth of the little and sometimes tedious things you do every day?

I had a lot of very brave, candid moms share the challenges of their lives—and other than thanking them, I didn’t do a thing for them.

I want to do more.

So what can I do to help you to find fulfillment in motherhood? Would you like to be able to interact with other moms (in a forum maybe)? Would it help you to have a weekly post on MamaBlogga where we can all share something we did to enjoy our lives that week? Would you like “assignments” to help you find fulfillment? Would you like to see featured moms talk about what they do to find fulfillment?

Any other ideas?

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Got toes?

I’ve been making soup a lot lately: salsa soup, white bean soup, and coming up this weekend, turkey noodle soup, of course.

Hayden has also been making soup: mostly alphabet.
hayden made alphabet soup
Yeah, that’s a deep fryer.

In other activities, Hayden has begun singing various and sundry songs, with a little help from us:

He’ll be ready for Don’t Forget the Lyrics any day now.

Not to be forgotten, Rebecca has made her own strides this week. On Monday, she discovered her toes!
got toes?
Got toes?

Categories
MetaBlogging

Blogging Q&A: Can a blog be meaningful and successful?

Table of contents for Blogging success

I received an email the other day with some very good questions and observations about blogging. Because I thought other people probably had the same questions, and because I wanted to get more than just my take on the answers (and also because my email reply bounced!), I’ve decided to respond here.


I need to post more.

Not necessarily. Sometimes posting frequently can help to maintain your audience—but sometimes posting frequently overwhelms them or turns them off. It’s better to have a regular posting schedule, and in general I’d advise a minimum of one post a week.


I have concerns about my blog causing issues in my professional life and I feel this detracts from the quality of my posts.

I’ll be honest—this has happened before. Being dismissed from your job because of your blog is called being “Dooced” because that’s what happened to the author of the popular blog Dooce, Heather B. Armstrong.

However, this happens so infrequently that it’s almost always news when it does happen. Generally, the only things that you need to be worried about blogging about in respect to keeping your job would be blogging about your work itself, including your coworkers. Don’t do that, even anonymously.

If the concern is about your personal brand or reputation, that’s a little different. Are potential clients going to be repulsed because you have a mommy blog or a religious blog or a political blog? Perhaps. And perhaps each of us should ponder whether the people that turn away from us for having a blog—or having opinions and beliefs—are the kind of people we need to do business with anyway.


I want my posts to be meaningful. I don’t just want to talk for the sake of talking. How do I do this and keep an audience?

I’m going to assume you’re not saying that I’m talking just for the sake of talking (although this month, since I’m trying to do NaBloPoMo, it probably seems that way!) 😉 .

I don’t think that meaningful posts and keeping an audience should be or even are mutually exclusive. Usually, the only people that I care to read about what their kids are doing ad nauseam are people who I know in real life. Most of the blogs I subscribe to I read because the author at least occasionally makes meaningful posts. Those posts are what keeps me coming back—and I really hope that MamaBlogga readers get something out of my more meaningful posts, too.


I tend to think pretty deeply and over-analyze my writing. How do I keep this from holding me back?

Thinking deeply shouldn’t keep you from writing (unless you get so lost in thought that you can’t find your way back 😉 )—but over-analyzing your writing can stop you dead in your tracks whether you’re writing a novel, a blog post, or an email.

Almost all writers have to make a conscious effort to ignore the harsh inner critic while writing (sometimes outlining a post or an argument can help with that, too). The inner critic can be useful when we go back and edit—but not if you’re so hard on yourself that you end up deleting everything.


Is there a place on the web for this kind of meaningful content?

I hope so! While MamaBlogga chronicles the adventures of raising my family, its real “purpose” is to help other moms (and me) find the fulfillment that society tries to tell us being “just a mom” can’t give.

In the end, though, it’s the readers that decide whether or not it’s meaningful, of course. There’s room on the web for everyone to voice their thoughts, though. Even if you’re your only reader, I think you accomplish something by publishing your thoughts..


How do you get people interested enough to comment and why should they care about what I have to say?

I’ve written about encouraging comments before, and I still think one of the best ways to encourage comments is to end with a question—usually “what do you think?” or “how have you seen this in your life?”.

Another great idea I read about a long time ago (so long ago I can’t remember when don’t remember who said it!) is to not “finish” your post. The reasoning behind this advice was that if you tie up all the loose ends and present a neat, tidy package of an essay, there’s no room left for your readers to contribute. But if you don’t have all the answers, your readers have a role to play in your blog, and it becomes less of a soap box and more of a collaborative community.

As for why your readers should care—again, in the end, that’s up to them. I like to believe (and would be happy if anyone would like to validate this!) that people subscribe to “meaningful” blogs because something they’ve read resonates with them, and they’d like to see more of that.

And as with every time I talk about “success” for a blog, it’s important to note, too, that blogging success means different things to different people&mdahs;and we each have to set our own blogging goals to define our own success. Some goals, such as reaching people’s hearts, are not as easy to measure (but if I’ve done that before and you’d like to speak up now, please do!).

I know we have some great bloggers among us, and I’d love to hear any thoughts on anything above. What makes you subscribe to a blog? What makes a blog “meaningful”? Can a blog be meaningful and successful? Why does it seem that people don’t comment on “meaningful” blogs as much?

Categories
Fulfillment Faith

Joy in the journey part 2

I really liked this next passage from a recent address given by President Monson to my church (see part one from last week):

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can.

I often fall into that same trap—believing that if only I didn’t have to do all this “mothering stuff”/work/housekeeping/good works/church/alone, it’d be so much easier. But frankly, I would probably still find something to stress out about even if I had one less thing on my plate.

And all too often, I let the wrong thing slide. President Monson continues:

But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.

Usually, I get stressed because I’m trying to do too much—and often it’s not stuff that I need to do anyway. Beyond basic housecleaning and a couple hours of work per day, I don’t actually have to do a lot of the things that I make myself do or that I want to do.

Instead, if I focus on the work of motherhood: loving, and giving my children attention, suddenly those stresses that make my life so difficult—the stresses that I have put on myself—seem to go away.

What helps you relieve or lessen the stress of motherhood? How do you show your children your love?

Categories
Random Fulfillment

Finishing!

A little over two years ago, I began knitting a sweater for myself (this lovely wrap sweater, to be exact).

It took me about two months to get through all the various pieces—left front, right front, back, a sleeve (frogged), a redesigned sleeve, a second sleeve to match the redesigned sleeve, ties, and the neckband. In that time, I blocked it, dried it, and mostly sewed it together. I had only to sew on the sleeves and the ties and get the position of the slit for the tie to slip through when I put it down.

I picked it up again tonight. Less than 90 minutes later, I was finished with the sweater.

I really like the sweater, of course—a bright red, soft yarn, beautiful pattern. As its maker, I naturally see its flaws (not to mention body flaws I’ve acquired in the past two years!), but I think I’ll still be pretty happy to wear it.

However, it’s embarrassing how long it’s taken me to finally bite the bullet and finish it. Some of the delay, naturally, can be explained by flat-out forgetfulness—and procrastination.

Frankly, having waited so long for the reward of this sweater has made it less of a reward, and not because my body’s changed or the sweater’s any less lovely than it was two years ago—but because I’m embarrassed that I let something so close to finished languish so long and because it’s frustrating that I could have had this sweater two winters ago.

I’ll be glad to enjoy this sweater this year (and don’t worry, pictures to follow soon!), though.

Maybe this is another reason why motherhood feels so hard sometimes (a lot of the time!)—so we can appreciate the end product more. What do you think?

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Hayden measures

It’s times like these . . . that I think maybe I’m thinking and talking just a little too much about my weight.