MamaBlogga

(The full skit is even cuter.)

And of course:

Was Sesame Street this clever when I was little? If so, I totally missed it. Then again, so do my kids. Kind of the point, isn’t it?

What are your favorite kids’ show jokes for parents?

Last night we had a men’s cake decorating contest at church. This was Ryan’s design from concept up (though I had to help with a number of things like making the frosting).

Today, I found out it’s the 30th anniversary of Pac-Man. Neither of us knew this yesterday, but I think they should totally give us an award now:

(Last year, there was only one entry. This year, more than a dozen. Plus, Ryan was judging, so we weren’t even expecting to be eligible—just wanted to make sure there wasn’t just one cake again!)

It took three bottles of blue food coloring to get the frosting that color, and it’s still not dark enough. I guess that’s just what color blue food coloring is.

Dearest PR people spammers,

Or should I just open with “Hi,” since that’s how you usually address me, no name, no reference to my website, no indication you have any idea who I am or that you even actually meant to email me?

I know you think Mother’s day is a great time to celebrate motherhood. I do, too. But I don’t consider telling my readers (mostly moms) how to buy gifts for Mother’s day “celebrating motherhood.”

Maybe celebrating commercialism.

No, I will not cut-and-paste your press release onto my blog. No, I will not be telling my readers how they can spend $600 on a purse to show the mother in their lives how truly special she is. (It won’t work.) No, I will not promote your overpriced, completely-unrelated-to-motherhood-in-any-way-shape-or-form crap.

I know you’ll never read this, since I know I don’t have a name or a face to you and that you’ve never bothered to even look at my blog except to harvest my email address and pretend like your commercial email is solicited.

(The government has, like, laws about all that, you know. And I report you.)

But just as a reminder—seriously. I’m reporting you to the government.

If you happen to have a product that might actually help moms feel better about themselves (or just feel better), and you’d like to send me a sample or sponsor a giveaway, then I’m ready to listen.

Until then, stop spamming me.

No love,
Jordan

Sad, sad screenshot by Matthew Maber

I think most of us have met Flat Stanley at least once—a far off niece, nephew or cousin gets an assignment in school and they send you a paper doll named Stanley. (In case you don’t know, you show Flat Stanley around and take pictures of local attractions with our man Stan and send them back to the sender.)

That’s a little like what Flat Daddy is about—the Flat Daddy project helps military families maintain unity even while their father (or mother, I’m sure!) is deployed. A life-size standup photograph of their loved one helps families to remember their dad and husband (like you could ever forget, but for little kids, it helps), and helps to make them an active part of their lives.

Here’s one family’s story about their Flat Daddy, as shared with their local news, which explains it so much better than I can:

(Okay, I’m crying just thinking about this.)

Elaine Dumler, the “Flat Daddy Lady,” is working to provide families with free Flat Daddies. You can help support our military families with donations of any size.

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Author (and friend) Annette Lyon brought the Flat Daddy project to my attention. She learned about this project while writing her latest book, Band of Sisters, about five military wives, and I’m happy to help her spread the word (and celebrate her book).

In fact, Annette’s book launch for Band of Sisters is tonight. Annette Lyon, Sarah M. Eden (author of Courting Miss Lancaster), and Julie Coulter Bellon (author of Dangerous Connections) are all celebrating a book launch at the Orem Deseret Book (by University Mall) from 6-8PM.

If you’re in the neighborhood, stop by for tons of fun and door prizes!

Enjoy your holidays!

I’m really upset, so I’m doing what I do best when upset: blog.

On Thursday I got home from a trip to the library to find a yellow placard on our door. It was a warning from the police—we were in violation of the city code because our lawn was too long. (That’s our house in the photo, minutes after I got home to find the warning.) The police officer wrote that we should call him. I gave Ryan his name and number, and Ryan left a message on his voice mail.

We assumed that someone had called the police on another neighbor, one who had let their entire lawn die, and the officer had just checked the whole neighborhood while he was there—until the police officer returned my husband’s call. The officer confirmed that one of our neighbors had, in fact, called the police. On us and at least three other houses on the street (at least two of which are rental properties that have gotten new renters in the last couple weeks). And (in the interest of ensuring domestic tranquility, obviously) this person had written the mayor and the city council to report us and other neighbors. And they said that we had neglected our lawn for the last three years.

We don’t actually know which neighbor it was that did this, but we can only assume it’s not someone we know well. Also note: last month (that’s July, in case you’re reading this tomorrow), we did let our lawn go for a while, while we had 26 people at a family reunion based at our house. But obviously, that’s not the case now.

I am furious.

I’m pretty sure we can find out who did this—but should we? Should we do anything to defend our good name in our community? Should we say anything to these neighbors?