MamaBlogga

Dear Ryan,

I know you won’t see this until tomorrow, but I just wanted to tell you a few things.

I wanted to tell you thank you again for getting out the crock pot yesterday while I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get the stoneware clean, vegetables sliced and pot roast on. It may not have been a huge deal, but it was one little thing that helped my day go more smoothly. Plus, I liked that I didn’t even have to ask you to do it. You anticipated a need and fulfilled it.

I especially liked it because I felt like we were a team. I like to feel like we’re working in perfect synchronization.

I also appreciate how you usually notice if I’ve cleared off the kitchen counters or done the dishes or mopped or vacuumed. I appreciate you taking notice, thanking me for doing my daily chores, and saying, “The house looks good, babe.”

Thank you for giving Hayden his bath almost every single night for nearly a year now. I like to take those few minutes sometimes and decompress a little. But usually, I like to sit with my boys.

Thank you for being a competent father. You have excellent judgment when it comes to our son’s safety and wellbeing. You’re even very good at diapers. I’m so glad to have someone whom I love and trust to be right there with me to share my concerns and hopes for our son.

No, there’s no special occasion that you’ve forgotten (though it is my grandma’s birthday tomorrow). It’s just Monday.

I love you.

Love,
Jordan

My birthday ended better than it started, which is pretty good, considering how grumpy I was yesterday morning. Not only did Ryan surprise me by coming home from work at 9:30 (his work day starts at 7) and baking me a cake and straightening up the house, but he stayed home the whole day (hurray!).

I’m afraid I didn’t use our time very well . But it was really nice to have an extra, extra long weekend and to have him home with me. Hayden wasn’t as grumpy as I’d feared, either.

Ryan got me a very sweet card and a pair of books with parenting coping strategies (which I know I need; I was very happy to get them!).

I sent him out to get rainbow chip frosting for my cake. A few minutes after I left, my sister arrived at my door. She came in and we talked for a minute before she said, “Well, go get ready.”

“For what?”

“Ryan’s taking you out to dinner. Surprise!”

Indeed. I felt like eating at Happy Sumo, so we did. I was sorely tempted to get what I did last time we were there (Fuji Chicken), but I ended up getting something different.

Before we left, we realized that the last time we were there was nearly a year ago—my belated birthday celebration. Should we make it a tradition?

Here are my life lessons from “working” again this week:

• Planning ahead is a beautiful thing. I think last Wednesday was the perfect day. I had three posts live before I got out of bed. So, naturally, I slept in.
• Getting up early can also be a beautiful thing. Cue the picture of Haydie slapping his forehead. I can’t believe it either. But on days that I got up early, I got a ton done. Even if it was all I could do to wade through news stories and e-mails before Hayden got up, it made my day go smoother. (Also beautiful: going to bed at 9. Divine!)
• I can afford to take time to myself. These last two weeks I’ve spent more time actually working than I have probably all year. And even then, I was still able to spend time doing what I want to do. Believe me, gentle readers, you will soon be reaping the benefits. (WINK!)
• What I want to do is write. I know you were wondering when I said that a minute ago, so I’ll tell you. So even when I wasn’t writing for work, I was writing.
• I need FlyLady. Of course, that realization might also be prompted by the fact that my family is coming to visit in like three weeks and my guest bedroom is full of stuff and my bedroom is full of Goodwill boxes that we’ve had packed for more than a year.
• Family is most important. The thing I regret most about these last two weeks, even up until last night, was neglecting Hayden and Ryan. I was actually pretty good, considering the pressure of keeping up with literally thousands of posts per week, and doing a side job for Ryan’s work. (Ryan is handing in my resignation today, I believe.)
• If Hayden doesn’t get up before 8, he will not take a morning nap. Never mind that he’s perfectly fine getting up at 7:45 and taking a nap at 9:45 or 10. Today, he got up at 8:30 and would NOT go to sleep until around noon. I’m hoping he’ll either sleep for another hour or wake up like now and take another (short) nap around 4.

And there he is!

Yesterday I took my sister Brooke and a couple of her friends to look for apartments for next fall. We looked at three places, including the complex where I lived my first year off campus. It was my idea to go there—I was arguing that it’s really nice to have enclosed hallways, instead of your apartment opening up right into the cold. (Also, with the strict curfew rules the university imposes on approved housing, it’s a warm place to hang out with friends after curfew.)

It was kind of weird to be back there. It even smelled the same. Brought back a lot of memories. We sat in the office and ate the freshly (under)baked cookies they had for us, and I imagined how much fun my sister and her friends will have, no matter where they live. I reminisced about how much fun I’d had, and my mind came back to something I think about probably all too often—what my single friends are doing now.

They’re following their dreams in law school, grad school or careers. They’re doing things for themselves. They’re dancing, partying, having fun. I’m getting up at 7 AM, changing diapers and watching television all day long, and going to bed early. I’m not even twenty-four. While I love Ryan and Hayden and I know this is where I belong, I can’t help but feel jealous of my friends who can still live for themselves.

Yesterday as I was back in my single stomping grounds, I reminisced about how I spent my singlehood—in those conveniently enclosed hallways. There was one boy in particular. I wanted so badly for him to care about me—not in a romantic way, though. I wanted him to be my best (guy) friend, my greatest confidant. And while he wanted to be my friend, he never could give me the depth of friendship that I needed. After I moved out of those apartments (and into Ryan’s neighborhood), he and I spoke only twice.

Last night, after stoking the fires of nostalgia all afternoon, I came home to Ryan waiting for me on the couch. He invited me to curl up with him. As I settled into his arms, I realized that Ryan was the friend that I’d yearned for years earlier, my greatest confidant. And while my friends do get to pursue their dreams now, I know I’m where I belong.

Okay, I’ll take a shot for 5 things you don’t know about me, and we’ll see how many we get.

I was tagged by Lindsey.

1. The first week I dated Ryan, we stayed up until 4 AM at least two nights. Week nights. And at least one of those, we were sitting (just talking!!) in my car. This is March in Utah, folks—we were lucky not to lose any toes! (We were so cold we could hardly move by the time we left!)
2. Also that week, I overslept and missed work. I was working as a Teaching Assistant (my favorite job ever) and I had to be there—I was the teacher on Fridays. Woke up half an hour after my first hour of teaching started. Let my other two classes go after 15 minutes. To make amends, I had to give an extra make up lab (ah, it was just the basic principles of economics; they don’t need ‘em!) at night (the one time Ryan got to see me in action). My boss opted not to hire me for oen of the limited number summer positions because of this, but she still wanted me back in the fall. I was still quite upset and cried for a long time. Karen (boss) was nice about that, though. It worked out okay in the end—Ryan and I got married during the summer.
3. I’m a horrible eater. I’m picky about some things (I hate pepperoni—too spicy—eggs, crunchy peanut butter, yogurt or ice cream with seeds in it—even vanilla bean drives me nuts!) and often don’t realize I haven’t eaten anything until mid afternoon.
4. I think I might be transferring this to Hayden. Up until last month, I was WAY too lazy to fed him solid foods often enough. I’m finally getting into the habit (although nursing is still far more convenient for us). However, I have the worst time trying to figure out what to give Hayden as finger food. My mom mentioned bananas, I replied, “Oh, we don’t have any.” Mom was like, “They have these things… I’m sure they have them in Utah… I’ve been in them in Utah… They’re called stores.” Riiiight. On the plus side, I do feed Hayden things I don’t eat such as sweet potato, squash and oatmeal.
5. I’ve dropped Hayden approximately twice. Once, he was sleeping in his carseat and had a major blowout in the middle of the night. (It seemed major at the time; I would later learn better.) I picked him up to take him to the changing pad, carrying him with one hand under his head and one hand under his bummy. (I can’t believe we actually use that word, but I have to admit that I coined it in our family.) Bummy = slippery when covered in poo. His bummy slipped out of my hands and he fell about a foot onto the ground. The other time(s?) was just a dumb accident.

So, did you know those things?

I hereby tag… um… Jaime because she hasn’t updated in years (months, whatever), Brooke just because, Laura Wattenberg because I love her Baby Name Blog and book, The Baby Name Wizard (though I doubt she’ll ever see this or have time to respond), and um… Jasmine, Mom, Dad and Ryan to respond in my comments. They only count as half a blogger each since they don’t have their own blogs.

On that note, bonus #6: I’m tinkering with my comments. I’ve gotten them back to the old peek-a-boo style, but the JS to run that seems to be slowing my page loading time. I’ll also have to tweak the CSS so they’re not all caps. Bet you didn’t know I was so technical, eh? Yeah, well, I’m not. As I said to my coworkers (when I had coworkers), “We have a very low tech job (copywriting) in a very high tech field (Internet).”

Okay, so most of my list were about me in conjunction with my family. What can I say? They’re my life. They are a part of me. They’re who I am.

Though just about every day, I long to be my own person, if I’m truly honest with myself, I have to admit that Hayden, Ryan and the rest of my family are almost more a part of me than I am. And when I’m truly honest with myself, I’ll admit that I love it.

Apparently, the Scottish military is running a bit short on kilts. According to MSN, they have 1 for every 15 soldiers.

We have two kilts they might could borrow. Okay, so they’re Ryan’s and, I think for at least one of them, he would rather go fight himself than loan it to someone that might hurt it. Oh, and also, they’re the wrong pattern. Here’s the best full body shot I have handy:

However, I think our flannel sheets are the right pattern. $30 at Kohl’s, guys. Run on down.

[MSN story]