The stats are alarming: more and more children are being born out of wedlock, divorce is on the rise, workaholism, absenteeism, and just plain abandonment result in more and more children being raised without fathers. Now, of course, I think mothers are wonderful and vital to a child’s growth and development—but really, we can’t do it all by ourselves.
Aside from potentially increasing the difficulty level of parenting for a mother, children who grow up without a father involved in their lives face long odds:
Boys without the substantial presence of a father are 70 percent more likely to commit violent crimes, and each year spent without a dad in the home increases the odds of future incarceration by 5 percent.
Girls without the substantial presence of a father are 150 percent more likely to become pregnant during the teen years and will experience 92 percent more marriage breakups than girls raised with two parents.
Both girls and boys raised without fathers are substantially more likely to be sexually abused than their peers in two-parent homes.
—As cited in Nurture the Nature by Michael Gurian
Does having a dad around automatically ensure that all will go smoothly for mothers and children? Of course not. But statistically speaking, it certainly helps.
With all these stats piling up around us, it’s easy to think that the world is sinking into a vicious cycle which can only perpetuate itself. But let me remind you: there are still lots of great dads out there. Dads that take the time to be involved in their children’s lives, whether or not they live together.
So here’s to all the dads that make the time to play with their children, help them with homework or chores, and really try to get to know them. Because there are still plenty of good, responsible dads out there (they just don’t always make the headlines).
3 replies on “Dads are responsible (and important!)”
I agree that dads are important. Male role models are important. Although I know your post was put here for all of the right reasons, but as a single mom, the information above is hard to look at and makes my heart sink a little bit.
How about a post that has potential solutions for those families that don’t have two parents? Something that lists the things that can be done to lessen the chances of the negative popping up?
For example, scroll down to the last section of this page for interesting findings.
The Many Meanings of Family and the Role of Fathers
by Peter Fraenkel, Ph.D.
http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/many_meanings_family_role_fathers
That page doesn’t actually seem to offer solutions in my opinion. They cite critics who looked at data from 171 studies and said, basically, “Yes, but having a father in the home adds so many positives that it’s hard to say that any one of them is directly attributable to having a father in the home.” (Families with fathers are less likely to live in poverty, so not living in poverty must be what makes the difference? Children with fathers in the home are more likely to be involved in school, but that might be because they have two parents?)
Their “solution,” cited from a single study, is to have one highly-involved parent—which, frankly, they’ve already said is far less likely without having a second parent in the home.
As part of their solution, children must receive time, affection, attention, economic & psychological stability—all of which have been statistically shown to be less prevalent in single-parent households (regardless of whether it’s a single mom or single dad, actually, but single mom is kind of the default).
If I’m going to suggest a solution, I want to be able to offer a better solution than that.
My only advice is to cultivate a close relationship with a trusted male relative (your father/grandfather/uncle, maybe?) as part of a significant support network.