Doesn’t mean it’s a breeze later on, it just means that for me it got easier.

Doesn’t help you much in the meanwhile to say “ah, just wait ten years and everything will be GREAT!” but sometimes just remembering that it’s a temporary status, that it WILL improve helps. It still can get tough, but it’s a little different kind of work than when the kids are labor-intensive.

As for the mommy doldrums, escaping from the house for a little while on my own often works best. When it all comes crumbling down a quick drive to the gas station to buy a coke often gives me the few minutes to breath I need.

Honestly, though, I think that you as a WAHM have it harder than many of us have it.

I have heard working at home painted as the “best of both worlds,” because you are spending time with your children while earning an income and getting mental stimulation. I would counter that it also combines the worst aspects of parenting and a job — trapped at home without respite AND the pressure of looming deadlines.

For me, the “mommy doldrums” were actually a blessing in disguise. I realized that it wasn’t that I’d been more fulfilled in the career world, but that I’d had more distractions to keep me from noticing that feeling that something was missing. Without the business trips and the frequent socializing and the deadline pressure to keep me mentally occupied, stay-at-home motherhood forced me to look head-on at the fact that there was a sense of purpose and/or fulfillment missing from my life, and that it had been missing all along. It ended up prompting me to do some serious soul-searching about “meaning of life” type questions, which turned out to be the best thing I ever did.

Anyway, thanks for your honesty!

It’s tough because there is no way to describe how hard it is to a mother-to-be. I think that as they get older it is so easy to look back and realize how easy those previous stages were compared to now …

I definitely struggle and my mother is not one I can turn to because she is the first one to make me feel guilty. That sucks even more.

You’re right … blogging helps. It helps to not feel so alone. I also have a group of moms that I’ve been hanging out with who have struggled, too. That makes me feel better.

I agree that not enough people admit to the hard side of parenting – I always try to. I love it but it’s HARD, the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I try to tell anyone who asks me that. I don’t want them to think it’s easy and all comes naturally cause it doesn’t. It did for my first but when the 2nd came along I hit rock bottom, just didn’t know how to cope with them both. I realised I was trying to do way too much myself and not asking for enough help from my other half.

That’s not to say it’s the same for everyone of course. Some people really do find it a breeze (most likely those who have lots of people there to help out and take over when needed), but most of us wonder what the heck we’ve got ourselves into at some point – it’s normal!

There’s a little something on my blog for you btw hope it helps with the mommy doldrums.

It took me a really long time to come to terms with my role as “mother. For some women, motherhood transition does not happen easily. Additionally, from the looks of the comments I received, I was not alone in my questioning motherhood. And, neither are you. ~Hugs~

I think it is about coming to terms with the fact that we are all imperfect human beings and there is no definition out there of “the perfect mother.” That is why they teach us to slow down sometimes and remember that it is about being present for them. As long as they continue to love us unconditionally, like we love them, then in their eyes we are the best parents in the world. My favorite quote: “We do not remember days, we remember moments” -cesare pavese

Often, when I am feeling overwhelmed and do a great job of being my worst critic, I get on my treadmill for 30 minutes (one of few things I feel I have contol over in this life sometimes.) I also turn to daily meditation books that help to keep me grounded.

You are doing a great job. You have all of the tools you need. You are not alone in your thought process.
Warmest Regards,

Kakie

Oh, and I once told the VERY pregnant woman behind me at Babies R Us that I was two weeks late, so good luck.