How do we get women to stop saying, “I’m just a mother”? Or, “I used to be such and such, but now I’m just a mother?” We need to market motherhood. So I came up with a saying: “Motherhood: 24/7 on the frontlines of humanity. Are you man enough to try it?
—Maria Shriver, The Oprah Winfrey Show, 29 Apr 2004
I know I’m not the only one out there promoting motherhood. One of Maria Shriver’s goals as California’s First Lady is to empower mothers. And while I’m greatly heartened that motherhood has such a prominent and vocal proponent, I think (as I’ve said before) that we have to strengthen motherhood from the bottom up.
What do you think? Should we try to change society or our hearts first? And what’s the most effective way to do it?
9 replies on “How do we do it?”
I think the first step is getting all Mothers to not think of themselves and “just Mothers”. Once we change our own perceptions, marketing it to the world should be a lot easier.
Honestly I don’t think we can do one first. Society will change when we stop allowing ourselves to be shortchanged as ‘just a mother”. But we’ll stop seeing ourselves as “just mothers’ when we are taken seriously more by society. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
well if it is something that someone struggles with then they have to start with themselves for sure. Personally, I don’t have a problem with it. I love being “just a mom” and feel super blessed to be able to do that. Its funny, even at my 10 year reunion when people asked “what do you do” and I said “mom” I didn’t think of telling them what I used to do, they usually asked though. I have been on both sides- career and mom, while I enjoyed my career, motherhood has been even better.
I think Kailani summed it up very well. The change in viewing motherhood has to start with mothers.
I definitely think the change needs to come from mothers first. I think as mothers we need to get to a point where what society says doesn’t matter. We need to be secure in our value as mothers, even if society doesn’t see it the same way.
When mothers are confident and secure in their role, the attitude becomes contagious, and society will come around.
Hmmm this is a difficult one… I think this has to be approached form both sides at once, really. It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation!
Hi–new poster here! (Love this site btw)
I’ve learned that when I am unapologetic about who I am and what I am doing (i.e. being a SAHM) most of the time people respect and admire that and can see the joy I feel doing it. It’s only when I preface it with “Well, I used to be…” or “Right now I’m…” that I can tell they are forming a judgment or placing me in the SAHM “box”.
I think the more we stand proud and unapologetic, the greater force we will become and society will have to take notice (it is already).
Kailani hit the nail on the head! It can start with our own attitude and portrayal. Motherhood is hard, but I love it!
I think too often I meet moms who truly didn’t feel they had any other purpose in life before they had children. So, naturally, they are not happy with being a mother either. It really does start with being internally happy with ourselves. I never sacrificed myself, not when I was younger, and not now. Well, I am sacrificing now, but I am not suffering as a result. I worked hard and figured out who I am, what I am before I became a Mom. Now, I’m still all of those things and a Mama, too. I know how to sort the two. I do agree … it has to start with the mothers themselves. I think, too often, we’re our worst enemies with the judging, lack of support, etc.