How to express gratitude to a mother

Three times last night, I heard the hosts on various shows bid all the mothers a happy Mother’s Day. More than once, they assured me, “We appreciate all that you do.” Only one of the people who expressed Mother’s Day wishes was a mother herself, though many, if not all of the men were fathers.

And each time, it grated on my nerves more and more. Finally, the third time, I’d had it (it was also after midnight…). I turned to the television and shouted, “No you don’t! You don’t have any idea what we do!”

If you’re still pondering what special things to say to your mother or wife (or baby mama) for Mother’s Day, here’s a little hint: don’t say that you’re grateful for all that we do. Even if you really, truly are grateful for absolutely everything that we do, leaving it at that makes us (or me, at least) feel as though you have no concept of what we do, and no real desire to find out.

Instead, pick a few specific things to mention. They could be thankless tasks that you know your wife/mother/babymama does (diapers, dishes, maintaining a well-run house, enforcing the rules, etc.); it could be a favorite family memory (especially effective if you know that your wife/mother/babymama put a lot of time and effort into creating that memory, but it works either way).

By speaking in specifics, the underlying message is that you notice what we do. Generalities are nice, but they’re just that—general. By mentioning a couple things to focus on, hopefully your wife/mother/babymama will understand that you see the hard, thankless work that is part and parcel with motherhood—and that you appreciate that.

Just a thought.