MamaBlogga

In case you missed it, I’m a writer. (Shameless plug: I can now say “my book is coming out next year”!) So I was instantly drawn to a guest post by a fellow forthcoming-in-2013 author on the Power of Moms yesterday. I was so drawn to it, in fact, that I tracked down the author’s blog and discovered that we’ll be sharing a publisher (awesome!).

But even more awesome was her essay. I have been thinking about this very topic a lot. As a writer, I spend a lot of time thinking about imaginary people with imaginary problems who live their imaginary lives all in my head. Yes, it does get crowded. So crowded that I spend a good deal of time thinking about what I need to do for this story, how I’ll plot out that story, how I’ll edit another story—even when I have three flesh-and-blood (albeit quite small) people right here in front of me. Shouting at me. Tugging on me. They’re hard to forget, and yet somehow, sometimes, I do.

One of the things that astounded me as a new mother was how much my baby could need me. And he wasn’t one of those children who instantly quiets in the arms of his mother. (The opposite: he was pretty quiet in general, unless he was starving, and getting near his mommy at those times meant he was going to eat soon, SO HURRY IT UP!!)

Somehow, this little lump of a human, less expressive than our house cat, needed me all the time. For eating ever 90 minutes, yes, but somehow even then, I felt the emotional draw of his utter dependence.

My children aren’t quite so dependent on me these days—they’ve discovered the refrigerator—but still, the one thing they need the most from me isn’t games or toys or food or stimulation. What they need most from me . . . is me.

So one of the things I’m going to try to focus on this year is being more mindful of the present. We spend so much of our lives filtering our existence. I want to look up from my camera and my computer and into the eyes of my children. I might even get off the couch.

And hopefully, I’ll be able to come to the same conclusion as Jenny has:

Often days, even weeks, go by without writing a single word. Days that are full of not just the routine maintenance and care of a home and family, but with homework helping, piano teaching, baby building, book reading, game playing, story listening and many other rich and rewarding things that I’m simply not willing to give up. I will not give them up because I want to be present in my children’s lives; and because I know that in the grand scheme of things, my children, not the number of books I’ve published, will be my greatest prize.

This raising of a family is God’s work. I know this. I feel it in my heart, in my bones, and even in the very words that I write. I do not think it coincidental that those moments that have brought me closest to God are moments I’ve experienced as a mother. Writing is rewarding in its own right, but mothering? Mothering is sanctifying.

Amen.

How do you focus on the present? (Or how do you dream and wish your life away?)

I love surprises, and to me, surprises are part of the joy of giving gifts. In the interest of keeping everything a surprise for Christmas, Saturday I pulled out all my kids’ gifts from me and wrapped almost all of them. I decided to save four odd-shaped ones until later, when I’d have more boxes to wrap in.

(Don’t feel too bad, I’m not that on top of things: it’s December, and also, I just bought the stuff the day before.)

And then, like an idiot, I left ALL the presents in the middle of the family room. The kids got up before me the next day and found the gifts. Oy.

I asked my mom what to do and she recommended I tell them how we were planning on donating some toys to charity (and, of course, actually doing so—just not with those particular toys).

I like this idea a lot because it kills two birds—or some less violent cliché. I want Christmas to be about giving (you know, after being about Jesus), especially giving to those in need, and I want to involve my kids in that. And of course, I want them to still be surprised on Christmas day. (That might be three birds.)

Since the kids are getting new toys for Christmas, I really want them to pick at least a few toys of theirs that they don’t really play with anymore that we can donate to other kids. (This also helps to make room for our incoming toys.) It’s a little hard to find places that want used toys, but I’m thinking a local women’s shelter and possibly the food bank (they take used toys for only their waiting room, but still).

A few useful links:
Kids’ Health article on getting your kids to donate their toys
And a fun lesson to help emphasize Jesus at Christmastime when Santa offer stiff competition: Santa as a type of Christ (seriously!)

Okay, so here’s the deal: I think WordPress is a fantastic platform and I love it and I’d never go back to Blogger. BUT Blogger is a good platform and for many users, it’s a better fit than WordPress would be. When my sister wanted to start a craft blog this year, we went with Blogger because we all knew how to use it (and hence I’ve used Blogger more this year than I have since, oh, 2007).

However, if you’re looking to look “professional” or “branded,” I strongly recommend using Blogger’s Custom Domain feature (I know, I’ve been beating this drum for almost five years). This moves your blog from YOURBLOGNAME.blogspot.com to YOURBLOGNAME.com (or whatever address you can get). Setting this up required a little bit of technical know-how with the domain registrar (the company where you buy the domain name).

Until now. If the technical bits have kept you from your own domain, at least one registrar can help. Blogger Buzz announced last month that custom domains is simpler for GoDaddy customers now. GoDaddy has added a tool to update the settings on their side to get your blog onto its own domain with just one click. Nice!

If you register a domain, don’t forget about private registration!

Today is Rachel’s half birthday! She’s 18 months old! And we celebrated by going to Nursery one whole day early!

But first: I wrote last week about her signs. In the last four or five days, Rachel has picked up three new words, probably the most important in a baby’s vocabulary: Mama, Dada and . . . NO. Noooo. No. No. She can nod, but she just loves her new word so much that even when the answer is yes, she says, “No.”

It’s a little annoying sometimes, but as she was protesting getting dressed the other day, I realized that she’s never been able to exercise control like that before. It’s not that she doesn’t want to get dressed (she didn’t fight me at all), it’s that she wants to be independent.

Except for, of course, when she doesn’t. I was a little worried about her starting Nursery since she’s had a bit of separation anxiety lately. Hayden, however, was very excited for Rachel to go to Nursery, so the whole family walked down to the room with her after Sacrament Meeting. With Rebecca demonstrating, we washed her hands with sanitizer.

She was a little unsure of what to do—or whether she liked it—until I showed her to the “hors d’oeuvres” on one of the tables: a pile of pretzels and a pile of marshmallows. I stuck a pretzel in her mouth and she was sold. She climbed into the nearest chair and didn’t care whether we were there or not.

Rebecca still has a month left in Nursery, so we charged her with helping Rachel. The Nursery leader told us afterwards that Rebecca would sometimes look around for Rachel, saying, “Whewe’s my baby?” (At first they thought this was a doll until they saw she meant Rachel.)

Ryan, who normally takes Rachel during church since I’m in Primary, had the same experience, basically—he’d have a flash of panic, wondering, “Where’s Rachel?” and look around for her before he remembered.

Rachel handled it best of all. I had to pop in twice for other Primary stuff and each time, she was busy participating (if a bit timidly). She didn’t even notice me. She even colored her picture.

After church, Rebecca reported that she “‘Tected Wachew and made soy [sure] nobody take her and bees her new mommy” at Nursery.

But I think Rachel herself summed it up best. I asked her if she had so much fun in Nursery. She answered with a very solemn, “Noooo.”

At Thanksgiving (in America), we remember our many blessings. Usually, we focus on big ones: family, freedom, upcoming books. But remembering the little things is important too, and not just on an annual day of thanks.

In this year’s General Relief Society Meeting, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf spoke about things that we need to remember, using the image of a forget-me-not flower as a symbol. One of the things we need to remember, he says, is to focus on the wonderful parts of our life:

The lesson here is that if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us.

This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.

The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy.

What do you think? How do you forget not the beauty and sweetness of today?

Photo by KH1234567890

Photo by Wish upon a Cupcake