Phoenix

(Please read my article: “SEO is Pointless“!)

I feel as though I’ve been reborn. After my post last week about Hayden’s sleep problems, I realized that I actually can get up every hour or two during the night. It’s not really that hard. I don’t have to have an anxiety attack when I go to bed. I don’t have to enjoy getting up 3/4/5/6/7 times a night, but I can do it for a least a little while longer.

I feel free, I feel patient, I feel like a good mom. I realize that the daytime is good—Hayden is a singularly happy little boy, usually very good about taking naps (though he is currently in his crib refusing to sleep), and a curious, inquisitive, fun, cute, strong, growing, beautiful baby boy. He is becoming incredibly adept at pulling himself to standing on furniture. While that’s a little scary at times, it’s amazing to watch him grow up.

It’s also hard to know how much to let go. When he was learning to sit, after I nursed him I would always sit him up by himself. If he started to topple over, I caught him probably 95% of the time. The result? He learned to sit up, no bruises involved. But I can’t just hover over him when he climbs up on the entertainment center waiting for him to fall. I don’t wait for him to fail, I watch in awe as he succeeds. He’s actually quite good at getting back down safely, but he does still fall and bump his head sometimes.

And don’t worry, when he hits his head and cries out in pain, I pick him up and cuddle him. He doesn’t have to grow up all at once, after all.

(Please read my article: “SEO is Pointless“!)

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