Comments on: Saying please to kids

By: Jordan

Jordan — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:15:01 +0000

@Sheila—I catch myself on that one all the time! I usually repeat myself and substitute “understand?” for “okay?”

By: SheilaG

SheilaG — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 18:59:00 +0000

Please is fine. It just means you’re polite.

The problem is “okay”. “Put your toys away, okay?” makes it into a question, and I think okay is far more common than please.

I have heard so many people say, “time to brush your teeth, okay?”, and then grow incensed five minutes later when the child has not brushed said teeth. But okay implies that you’re having a debate with someone. It’s saying there’s room for disagreement.

Please is just being polite.

By: Romie

Romie — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:48:05 +0000

I am catching up on my feed reader (and you are definitely in there) and just saw this post. It is funny because I just did a blog post on my site about how I get my daughters to do things. I actually don’t always say please, though I try to often enough, but I explain it to her until she does it.

By: Lindsey

Lindsey — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:39:15 +0000

I like the 2ly:)
I think that if you think that saying please undermines your authority as a parent that there are much larger parenting issues that need to be dealt with. I agree with Joanne. If we say please to strangers, why shouldn’t we say it to our own family members? Kids need to learn manners at home. And family relationships aren’t about who is in control at all times. If parents want their children to respect them, they need to respect their children.
And I’m with all the other moms who said if the first few polite requests are ignored then it’s not pretty. Same at our house.

By: misi

misi — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:13:06 +0000

I say please for everything and then when they do what they are being told to I tell them “Thank you; your so good for listening to your Mama”!!!
It makes them want to please you more and more the next time.
Some people have such radical ideas about parenting, my ex-inlaws were like that. Let’s just say on the inside they produced 2 of the most emotionally lost individuals I have ever met and boy are they good at denial….
So, say please and thank you- your kids are human beings that will turn into adults!

By: Mommy Zabs

Mommy Zabs — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:08:58 +0000

I say please… but I think the kids know it isn’t a bargaining chip.

By: Mozi Esme's Mommy

Mozi Esme's Mommy — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 07:22:42 +0000

Absolutely say please!

By: Summer

Summer — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 04:03:25 +0000

We definitely believe in teaching by example.

By: phyllis

phyllis — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:59:58 +0000

i’m in the please camp. but sometimes please doesn’t get there in a crisis or whatever….but most of the time i aim for politeness by example. i don’t think of it as a power issue, rather a teaching tool.

By: Maria

Maria — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:47:05 +0000

I usually say please and thank you, and so does my son. Before he could talk, he would sign please and thank you. If it is a matter of life or death or injury, he is directed without please to stop immediately, and please tends to be forgotten.