Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

Crazy self-talk

I think we all have one: one of those uncles who delights in teasing and tormenting us. Well, with our fabulous family reunion last weekend, that uncle was at my house. Thankfully, the reunion coincided with the worst week for naps in the history of this house (grumpy kids who don’t take naps, won’t go to bed, and wake up two hours earlier than normal + 22 extra family members = fuuuun!)

baby-becca-screamingI put Rebecca back to bed Saturday night after 10. Although she’d gone to sleep fairly quickly (after only 6 or 7 minutes of hysterical screaming) at the church during our family talent show, when we woke her to bring her home, she decided she’d rather stay awake. The two new teeth coming through don’t help. So despite repeated attempts at nursing her to sleep, she screamed for about half an hour.

My uncle who likes to torment me looked at me—probably drawn and exasperated—and says, “We all think you’re a terrible mother.”

And I smiled.

Because that’s exactly what most mothers think when their baby is bawling inconsolably. It’s the kind of recriminating self-talk that most mothers beat themselves up with. If I were a better mother, she wouldn’t be crying.

But to hear that same idea from my uncle, from whom I can’t take anything seriously, who I knew was just teasing me, made me realize just how silly that kind of self-talk sounds.

So thanks, Uncle Paul. I think.

Have you ever heard your own thoughts spoken by someone else—and realized how silly they sounded? How else have you analyzed your self-talk?

Categories
Random

Travelogy

Well, we’re finally home after three weeks of being on the road. It’s so nice to be in my own bed again—I hope Hayden thinks so, too! And of course, it’s wonderful to be with Ryan again!

Here’s what we’ve been up to the last few weeks:

  • Ryan’s brother’s wedding in Louisville. Very fun, very event-filled. My parents & youngest sister drove out to visit with us (and help wrangle Hayden during the ceremony).
  • 10-hour car trek with an almost-18-month-old from Louisville to my parents’ house in North Carolina. Surprisingly, Hayden did very well on the car ride. He even fell asleep twice in the car (he hardly ever does that).
  • The museum we always went to when I was little. Hayden liked playing in one of the space ships—it had buttons that he could push. He also liked playing in the small children’s play area, but by the time we’d seen the baby bears playing, he was waaay ready to be home.
  • The lake we always went to when I was little. Mom said my first trip was when I was about Hayden’s age. I loved it. Hayden, not so much. We bought him a little floaty, but he was too scared to stay in it. However, by the time we left that night, he was completely fearless—and very frustrated when mean ol’ Mom wouldn’t put him down in water that was up to her chest.
  • Hayden on the carousel

  • The carousel at the mall. Hayden liked it for the first few turns—he even held on all by himself at his peak (and we even got a picture!)—but after that, he was too upset to even go near one of the horses. Much more interested in the gate around the carousel. But we did get him some cute flip flops.
  • Lots of family time. We had “casual” and “formal” family times—a big family dinner to just visiting and hanging out.
  • Sickness after sickness after sickness. Between Hayden and me, we had to go to Urgent Care three times and get four different prescriptions—in three days. Hayden had a double ear infection, then either a bad reaction to the infection or the medicine. The doctor didn’t know what was wrong with me, but gave me medicine anyway.

It was great to see my family and spend time with them—but I’m glad to be home with Ryan!

Categories
Fulfillment

Vacation from guilt?

One thing that I look forward to every time I know I’ll be visiting with family is the opportunity to get a break. Not from work, usually, because I still usually end up working. I look forward to having more help with Hayden. A lot of the time, I think I would feel better about being a mother if I had more support around me—more people I could turn to during the day for help, more people that I could ask to watch Hayden so I could go to the dentist, get a project done or just take a shower.

So when I’m visiting with my family, I’m very excited to have that support (even if I won’t be going to the dentist or the doctor while I’m on vacation). But at the same time, I feel bad for “dumping” Hayden on my family all the time—and then I feel like they think I’m a bad mother who always wants to foist my child off on the first available person. Plus, I don’t want to ditch my family, either.

For those of you far from your families, what do you do to balance your time with your kids and your opportunity for a virtually endless supply of trusted babysitters?