A couple months ago, one of my bloggy friends wrote a short post detailing things that made her feel “super accomplished.” Her list included things she’d done with each member of her family that week—specifically, time she’d spent one-on-one with each of them—as well as things that make her happy personally. A-ha, I thought. That has something to do with fulfillment! How can I steal build upon that?

The “big” accomplishment of motherhood is years—even decades—away. We can’t put off feeling fulfilled in this most important calling until our kids have kids of their own. So I want to help mothers find fulfillment in motherhood (and find it myself) every day—or at least once a week. And since Friday is not only alliterative, but a good time to review the accomplishments of a week, that’s when we’ll do it!

So, what are Feeling Fulfilled Fridays? They’re Fridays where we can look back over our week and say, “Yeah, I accomplished something this week.”

How do we know we’ve accomplished something? This can work a couple different ways. For me, I’m going to make a list of things that make me feel super accomplished. (Note: not über accomplished, like birthing a baby or finishing a first draft. Those kind of “accomplishment” milestones are a long time coming. I’m sticking to stuff I can do in a day or a week.) On Sundays or Mondays, I’m going to pick two or three things from the list and strive to complete those at least once during the week. On Fridays, I’ll share.

Great. How can you get in on that action? I’m so glad you asked! The way I most want you to participate is to think about things that make you feel accomplished as a mom and a person and make time for those things. But if you’d like to report back on how that experience makes you feel, I’d be delighted to hear about it. Next week, I’ll have a Mr Linky (or something similar) up for people to add links to their blog posts. You can also comment on next week’s Feeling Fulfilled Friday post if you don’t want to do your own.

Until then, spread the word! Let’s see how many people we can get in on this! Check back on Monday for awesome badges for your blog.

So, what makes you feel super accomplished?

Photo by Leo Reynolds

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever cared less about New Year’s Eve and Day. Ever. My husband spent the evening patrolling the parking lot at a local youth dance (10,000 youth were expected to attend and the organizers solicited several hundred chaperons) so I didn’t even get a kiss.

I’m also so over resolutions . But I suppose I can still take a look at my resolutions from last year and assess how I’ve done.

• Better prayer and scripture study (specifically a 30 minute scripture study/prayer time first thing in the morning). Eh, not really. I did do pretty well at making at least a page a day. Mid-year, in line with our local (stake) goal, I decided to read the whole Doctrine and Covenants by the end of the year and finished it in about 3-4 months reading 2 pages a day. I only missed a couple days and I completed the goal, so that was good.
• Run a 5K. I’m kind of shocked that I actually did this (along with my sister Jaime). I liked being in shape, but apparently not enough to maintain it. I think I’ll do another 5K this year (again, I must be insane), but probably not until September at the earliest.
• Eat more fruits and vegetables. I neglected this for a while mid-year, but in the fall I had some health issues come up and I had to start eating more veggies again. I wish we could eat a greater variety of vegetables . . . but we already eat almost everything we like. Maybe we’ll have to get more adventurous this year.
• Do more around the house. Yeah—no.
• Write tons a reasonable amount (specifically, finished the first draft of my latest MS at the time, get through the first drafts of two more MS and finish revisions on the two 2007 MS). Well, I finished almost all of this—I finished the first draft and revisions on the aforementioned manuscript and also drafted two more in 2009. I never did go back to the first MS from 2008; if I ever do, it will require heavy re-conceptualizing. I actually went even further than the goal—I submitted that one manuscript for publication. Also, I want to revise the resolution: three manuscripts in 365 days (nearly 250,000 words) is more than a reasonable amount for me.

And my most important resolution: I will choose happiness. That, of course, is ongoing, but something I both did well (since I focused on it), and continued to struggle with (especially with the ongoing health issue).

So several of those are things I’ll want to continue to work on this year (maybe). But most importantly, I want to work on the habit of choosing happiness—doing more to foster that attitude on a daily basis.

Resolutions are hard to keep because they’re not the same thing as goals. So this year, this is my attempt to start channeling my most important resolution(s?) into goals. (For a blast from the past, here’s my post on setting goals, specifically for your blog; I’ll have another one on my writing blog on Monday.) One of the things I need is to work on breaking down the amorphous “choose happiness” into more specific, concrete things I can do to remind myself of and strive toward that attitude.

What do you think? How can choosing happiness become a habit?

Photo by Neal (Visiting this local attraction was the fulfillment of one of his resolutions)

And yet I still feel the need to try to set goals this time of year. Sigh. Some of the goals I’m contemplating:

• Better prayer and scripture study—kind of amorphous, isn’t it? But plenty of room for improvement there. I’m aiming for a 30 minute scripture study/prayer time first thing in the morning.
• Run a 5K. There, I said it. Ack. Running a 5K is one of those things that I’ve always kind of wanted to do, even though I hate running. Go figure. I started training today. The race is March 14, if it’s the same weekend it was last year.
• Eat more fruits and vegetables. Notice I am under no obligation to eat less junk .
• Do more around the house. I don’t mean chores, though I really have got to get on top of those (still recovering from a two-week vacation!). We’ve been in this house for 3 years now and haven’t done a quarter of what we wanted to do with it.
• Write tons a reasonable amount. I’m nearing completion on the first draft of my latest manuscript (don’t worry, you didn’t miss the good news—I haven’t published anything yet—I haven’t even submitted anything yet. Accursed, beautiful revisions.). I’d like to get through the first draft of two more this year—and finish those accursed, beautiful revisions on last year’s two manuscripts.

But those aren’t my most important goal this year. The ultimate goal in my life, for this blog, etc., is to be happy with my life—to be fulfilled. I’ve talked before about how “finding” fulfillment is misleading—so is finding happiness. As part of my Christmas trip, I stayed at my sister-in-law’s lovely home, and she had a painting there that said (paraphrased) “We talk about finding happiness when happiness is actually a choice.”

So, resolved, for 2009:

I will CHOOSE happiness.

How do you choose happiness? What are your goals for this year?