DUNK-DUNK!

Once upon a time, I decided to take my kids out on a fun trip all by myself. Usually, I try to avoid leaving the house . . . ever, but every once in a while, I’m overtaken by this idea that I should, you know, try to expose my children to fun learning experiences. I want to be a Supermom—you know the kind, those ladies who take their kids out, dressed adorably and coordinated-ly, for the requisite hour of active play every! day! with water bottles and Craisins and carrot sticks, and then they return for hour number five of reading and mind play . . .

Actually doing this in a tiny way, especially with some small amount of forethought and planning (like making them sandwiches to eat in the car!), makes me feel like an incredibly good mom.

So to be completely honest, doing this is at least a little bit to make me feel good about the job I’m doing as a mom. Which is probably totally hypocritical.

Amazing how much three little sandwiches can lull a mom into a false sense of competence, isn’t it?

But how hard could it be? It was a place geared for kids, so it couldn’t be as difficult as, say, visiting the dentist, grocery shopping, or walking down the street.

My kids believe they’re bored and living in near-prison conditions by the end of the average commercial break, so naturally they rejoiced, especially when they realized we weren’t, say, visiting the dentist or grocery shopping—because, hey! sandwiches! Oh, and the dinosaur place.

All until we got inside.

Which was, of course, Mommy Code.

Naturally, once she got out of the stroller and played with the exhibits, she loved every minute.

But when it was time to leave, she began complaining again.

Rebecca had already complained over 12,000 times (approximately) that she didn’t wike dis p’ace, that the dinosaurs scared her, that she didn’t like the noise, that world peace was taking so long to achieve, that gravity was a cruel mistress, &c.

Having exhausted all her logical arguments, Rebecca devolved into vowelless mumbling arpeggios in the key of whine.

Being the kind, understanding mommy that I am, I’d kind of had it.

I was unprepared for the sight that I found waiting.

I’d naively assumed that because it had been four days since the last time anyone had vomited, we were puke free.

Not so. Not so.

After wallowing in the horror! the horror! for a minute, I leapt into Competent-Mommy-Mode. (If you’re counting, that’s mode #3 after spontaneous & fun and fed up.)

Unfortunately for competent-mommy me, rather than using a floorplan with flow-through to the lobby, this museum had funneled us into a closed circuit, hiding the exits to the lobby behind doors with ominous warnings, like emergency alarms were going to screech if we came too close.

Rebecca, of course, is still crying, now covered in cold puke. I’m trying to reassure her, and yet get her to remain completely motionless—because she’s sharing this stroller with Rachel who has miraculously remained clean so far. Hayden is trotting along after us as fast as he can. This stroller was not built for jogging.

After running through the same tracks about three times, I finally gave up and opened the surely-alarmed doors that were about ten feet from where we started.

Who’s doing the pleading? Oh, it’s me.

And hello, lobby (with no emergency alarms).

Finally, after cleaning up my daughter, her clothes, her hair, her shoes, her stroller, and me, using mostly my bare hands, and clothing her in the spare jackets I’d brought for her and Hayden, I plopped Rachel on my hip and maneuvered us all out to the car. And I could move into Mommy Phase Four of the day:

Two hours ahead of schedule!

But I think the real punchline came just after dinner that night. Rebecca was convalescing on the couch, until round 2 began. Hayden ran to tell me—and mid-shout . . . well, that should probably be censored, too.

Have you been through Pukeageddon? Share your war stories!

Yeah, those days are a distant memory now. But with the cute things she says, I guess it’s okay.

Rebecca got her first real haircut!

Just kidding! (Silly you.)

We bought a bag of Reese’s minis for Rebecca as an incentive. “Are dey gowd?”

“Yes, they’re gold.”

“Are dey gowd doub’oons? [Doubloons] . . . No, dey are just gowd.”

Rebecca gets her middle name right about half the time; the other half she thinks her middle name is the same as Hayden’s (a mistake he’s just learning to correct). But she knows Rachel’s middle name, apparently because I say it so much. She even knows what it means:

“Waychew Deana [Rachel Diana] means ‘Come hewe!’”

“Good job, Bex,” I told her as we were cleaning up.

“No, I not Bex. I jus’ one Becca!”

During Rachel’s nap one Saturday, I left the other kids playing on the computer while Ryan went to church for a bit. When I came back from my shower, Rebecca announced, “We take gooood cawe of Wachew, Mommy! We takin’ good cawe o’ ouwsewves.”

Rebecca the ice princess (note the hat and the tiara)

As we walked through our home airport, after three weeks’ summer vacation at Nana’s and 8 hours of traveling:

“For my birthday, I’m gonna go back to Nana’s,” Hayden proclaimed. “Becca, do you want to come with me?”

“Come wis you? Awe we gon’ get mawwied??”

While we were visiting, my wayward sisters taught Rebecca what to say when she received a proposal of marriage. I didn’t realize how deeply it’d sunken in until we’d been home a few days. Rebecca was rolling around on the floor (for fun, you know) and after a minute, I heard what she was saying:

“Whewe’s my big diamond?!”

Last night, since Hayden was sick, I brought Rebecca with me to his school’s literacy night. She was so well-behaved! I let her draw in Hayden’s notebook and she used the crayons on the table—though not always for pictures. Well, two-dimensional ones:

I asked if it was a house. She informed me, “It’s Hayden’s schoow! An’ dis ownge c’own [orange crayon] is Hayden!” After I took the picture, she added another crayon next to Hayden: “His teachew.”

I was letting Rebecca play in our fenced-in backyard while I put Rachel to bed. “Be careful,” I warned her.

“Don’t wowwy, Mommy.” She gave me a thumbs up. “I wiww be pewfectwy fine.”

“You are so funny,” I told Rebecca.

“Yes, I am.”

Riding to school (It’s just a couple blocks from door to door.)

Saying bye

(The little boy behind him is the one mentioned below)

Walking in

His teacher is the woman leading the line. Ryan said the yellow-shirted man had a college ID, so he might have been a student teacher? I didn’t see him today.

Naturally, Hayden can’t give me a minute-by-minute account of the day, but I’ve gathered that he got to play with play dough, draw a picture of himself, sit criss-cross apple sauce(d) on the multi color carpet with our neighbor in his class, make a new friend (Who greeted him today by saying, “Hey! You! With glasses!” and holding out his arms as if to say “DUUUH, I’m right HERE!” [Ack, I can't believe my son is "the one in the glasses!"]). Also, there are stars decorating the classroom. Hayden did his screening interview in this room, and at the time he asked if he could write his name on one of the stars hanging from the ceiling. He tells me he doesn’t have a desk, but a table. Tonight is his back to school night, so we’ll get a better idea of what school is really like.

But he was glad to see me at noon:

And I’m not sure when he picked this trick up, but this was the first I’d seen it:

Rachel slept the whole time. Rebecca loved having me to herself: yesterday, we played games, including one number game (the fourth one here), the entire time. I spent less than half an hour straightening up/on the computer. Today, we laid on the floor and snuggled for 2 hours while we watched Curious George and Toy Story. Every time I even sat up, she’d roll over and say in a perfectly innocent voice, “I thought you were going to duggle me.”

I think she needs a picture:

And Rachel, too. The first time she climbed up in the stroller on her own (I think):

She was very adventurous at the park after school today. She was very upset to leave!

Oh, and what you’re really wondering: how did I take it? Ryan actually took off work and we all went down together, and I teared up, but didn’t cry. My friend/neighbor (mother of Hayden’s friend) pointed out that this is kind of the beginning of the end: from here on out, our sphere of influence will only shrink in their lives. Ouch. But I still managed to keep it together. (Another friend’s son told her that “It was the worst day of my life because you left me,” so I think we all handled it pretty well, eh?) On the plus side, it’s amazing what a difference a few hours makes. He’s done preschool for two years, and still, not having him around and having Rachel down for a nap makes the house so much quieter (and cleaner). But I’m glad he’s still here in the afternoons.

A while back, she insisted “I Buzz!” when we called on “Becca” for our family prayer one evening. We informed her Buzz was not allowed to pray, but Rebecca could. After we convinced her our minds were made up, she stuck out her arms and legs and wiggled them.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I shakin’ off my ‘tendin’ a be Buzz Wightyeaw.”

After the prayer, she mimed pulling on sleeves and boots: “I puttin back on my ‘tendin’ a be Buzz.”

This summer, we’ve crammed in waaay more travel than I’d initially planned. On her first trip, we stayed in a hotel. As we departed for home, Rebecca repeatedly asked if we were going to the hotel (since I guess we said “home” when we said we were going to the hotel while we were there). Finally, she understood that we were driving back to our house.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Hotew was jus’ ‘tendin’ a be ours home!”

She’s used this logic on other nouns as well. When she doesn’t want to go to bed, like tonight, she’ll inform us that “The daytime is just ‘tendin’ a be nighttime.” Or when she was having a little trouble on a playground and I read to her the sign that said the playground was designed for kids ages 5-12, and she told me she was five, she clarified, “I was just ‘tendin’ a be five.”

What funny things did your kids pretend?

1. Rain—don’t have to water the garden! (Borrowed from my friend Elisa, who’s also participating!)
2. My garden (okay, my sugar snap peas) is growing.
3. Ryan just cut both yards and they look very neat.
4. Hayden’s drawings—today he drew me an awesome cow .
5. Getting things done with the rest of the Executive Committee of my writers’ group.
6. Chopped!
7. Chatting with my sister, which I missed today.
8. Contact lenses and glasses.
9. Already having my pineapple CUPside-down CAKES, done and posted on Wayward Girls’ Crafts for this week!
10. Sleeping in! (relatively)

And today’s:

1. Naps, even if in theory only.
2. Rachel kicking with delight!
3. Checking things off my to do list (like this post!).
4. Putting the kids to bed early-ish.
5. That Rebecca’s hair will grow. (See last picture.)
6. Potty training! (And being done!)
7. Finishing off the cookies we made last night—no more temptation.
8. Left overs and Ryan reheating them.
9. Tuna salad sandwiches with celery, making me think of my mom.
10. Hayden including his sisters in playing with his blocks. And his blogs. But more about that next week.

“Dees are my wobots,” she informed us. So these are Rebecca’s Robots:

(Her hands. Also note the plate of shredded cheese, which is pretty much all the child will eat for dinner.)

Her robots talk and help her do all kinds of things (being her hands). They love their mommy robots (my hands) especially.

Some cute things Rebecca has said lately:

• Teese neveh wive in cups! Teese wive in bowws! (Cheese never lives in cups! Cheese lives in bowls!)
• Wohwa’kates: roller skates
• Yeh weww: yeah, well (at the beginning of a sentence)
• Beebee: I’m not even sure what the exact translation of this would be (baby?), but it’s something she says a lot when she’s playing with Pinky, her stuffed animal. It’s either what she called Pinky, or what Pinky calls her. Or maybe both.

And some more:

Another favorite game is MontahINK! (Monsters, Inc.) Rebecca is Suwwy (Sully) and Pinky is either Boo or Mike ‘Akow’ki. I’m usually whatever Pinky isn’t, though sometimes Rachel gets that honor. Hayden has played Mike and Wannaw (Randall). Once I was even Wannanoos (Mr. Waternoose).

Her hair, obviously, spends a lot of time in her face, so today I did this (she cried, but she’s come to accept it):

I’m not really thrilled with how I did, but cutting my kids’ hair too short is something I’m good at.

What do you think? What are you grateful for? Isn’t Rebecca pretty much the best little girl in the world?

This morning, Rachel used the couch to stand up for the first time! This is her last week, using the rocking chair (also the true first):

She’s still growing, but not quite as fast as she used to be. She was almost average sized at 4 months (a first for one of my children!), but at 6 (really 7) months, she was closer to the 35th percentile in weight. (Height was at the 98th percentile, but since she’s not abnormally long/tall, the doctor and I think that was probably a mis-measure.)

Rebecca is growing, too! She’s officially two and a half today. Lately she seems to be speaking much more clearly. For example, she doesn’t say “pea’ bu’ saas” but “peadut butter sammatch.” She still doesn’t say her r’s, favoring y’s and w’s instead. (“Diapehy” is a favorite of mine.)

She started having serious problems with bedhead, so I tried to get her to use scrunchies. If I did her hair “wike Tinkie Behww!” or to match mine (“We matsh?”), she was excited to let me touch her hair (a first!). I got her a few scrunchies at the dollar store last week, and she lets me do her hair almost every day now.

Hayden is learning new words. He likes to sound out words often these days (Last night: “G-g-g-gum. G! Gummmmm. M!”). He loves preschool, especially when it’s our turn to teach/host. He’s also experimenting with more photography (revolving around his latest favorite toy) and self-portraiture.

Warning: extreme closeup!

I fear I’ve created a monster, though: last week, I showed him the folder of Internet bookmarks I had just for him. I showed him how to open the browser. I showed him which link (of the 2-3) led to PBS Kids games. And now all he wants to do is play on the computer! (We have a few rules, of course: he has to ask first and get off whenever we tell him to.) It’s a little annoying during a lot of the day, but makes for a quieter quiet time. (And Rebecca happily taking naps again is helping with that, too!)

I love that they’re growing and discovering new things ad getting more independent, but I’m always sad to feel their early childhood slipping away.

What milestones have your kids hit recently?