MamaBlogga

It’s Hayden’s birthday! For someone who has talked about his birthday for six months, he’s not that excited. I told him he was four this morning and he said, “Wight now?”

When Rebecca got up, he told me to “Tell her what I have now.”

I correctly guessed he wanted me to tell her he was four. Hayden came to stand over her, and Rebecca grunted at him to go away, using her sign for “all done/all gone/no more.”

“See wants my fee years old back,” Hayden explained.

Birthday boy needs a haircut

Just a few of the inventions Hayden claims are in “his car” (the red Honda we haven’t driven in years, but still have):

• wings, so it can fly to Nana
• guns (that go “pew! pew!”)
• a machine that makes purple monkeys with sad faces and happy faces
• two ovens
• [added later: bathtub]

Some words Hayden puts his personal spin on:
woo — you
wuze — use
Werbecca (still)
foon — spoon (and all other words beginning with sp-, sm-, etc.)
[added later: DVDV ("divvydivvy") — DVD]

Words Rebecca can say (at 18 months, in the order she learned them as best I can remember):
des/dah (yes/yeah)
dat (that)
Dada (this was a long time before the next ones)
Mama, Nana, Papa
Beebe (baby, sometimes Pinky)
Deesa (Jesus)
oooh (no)
oosh (shoes or juice)
[added later: mmmmooowa (more, which came after Dada), boo' (book), ba'/bap (bag), ba' (ball), hi, bye]

Words Rebecca can sign:
more
shoes
cookie/treat
Jesus
milk
apple
cheese
Pinky
Hayden
baby
cracker
clean
no more/all gone/all done/FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP CHANGING MY DIAPER!!!!
[added later: hi, byebye, please, thank you, bread, excuse me]

Body parts Rebecca knows:
Hair
Head
Eyes
Ears
Mouth
Nose
Chin
Tongue
Cheek
Neck
Knees (sometimes)
Feet
Toes
Fingers
Hands
Belly

Monday was our anniversary, and Ryan was lucky enough to get some awesome (and FREE) VIP concert tickets from work. So Hayden was shuttled off to my brother- and sister-in-law’s with the usual supplies: diaper bag, pack’n'play, and a carefully-wrapped DVD.

The DVD in question is Robin Hood (which Hayden likes to say as “Wobin. Hood.”). As of probably about last Friday, it has become Hayden’s favorite movie. Luckily, it is also one of my favorites (favorite Disney film, too), and we have it on VHS and DVD. (This has taught him the word “rewind,” too.)

I wrapped it in an envelope because I knew if Hayden saw it or came across it in his diaper bag, he’d instantly insist on watching it, and I wanted to leave that to his aunt and uncle’s discretion. So I gave the DVD directly to Aunt Jess and explained what it was before Hayden made it in the apartment.

Naturally, none of that mattered in the end. The envelope sat on the entertainment center next to the TV and they watched Nick Jr. shows On Demand. The Blue’s Clues episode that was available was on a treasure hunt.

I don’t know if Hayden was familiar with the concept before, but apparently he caught on pretty quickly. During the episode, he seized upon the envelope by the TV and proclaimed it “Treasure!” He then headed off across the room to open it.

“Wobin! Hood!”

And yes, they watched that next.

Ryan offered to let Hayden call Nana Jane the other day, but Hayden wasn’t interested at first. A few minutes later, he grabbed Ryan’s phone and started asking for “Nana! Nana!”

So Ryan dialed his mom and gave the phone to Hayden. His mom answered: “Hello?”

“‘Yo?” said Hayden.

“Is this my little grandson Hayden?”

Long pause. “Uhhhh . . . I sink so!”

Last night, I caved. Hayden hadn’t fallen asleep after an hour in bed (which is very unusual for him). I went in to him because he was starting to cry—and he instantly asked for toast. Coming from a two-year-old who can’t seem to gain any weight, and who only had a half of a sandwich for dinner, the pitiful cry for “toast” broke down my mean mom resolve and I brought him out for some toast.

Hayden is still working on many of the finer points of syntax (just wait until Linguistics 430, kid!), so his questions are often framed like, “Toast, me?” Or, one of our favorites, “Bite, me?”

So when Ryan was trying to tease Hayden into sharing his toast, Ryan said, “Bite, me?”

Apparently we’ve pulled this joke on Hayden too many times. Rather than offering his dad a piece of his toast, Hayden opened his mouth wide and aimed for Ryan’s nose.

Yep, kid. Your dad said “Bite me.” Good answer.

Hayden has a small, crying monkey toy. Squeeze the monkey’s belly and he cries (or makes a monkey shriek, but Hayden has always called it crying). We call the monkey Baby Marty.

Today Hayden and I found Baby Marty while exploring his (not-so-) quiet time options. I handed Haydie the toy and he was very happy to see Baby Marty again—and of course, first thing, he squeezed Baby Marty’s belly.

When Hayden first got Baby Marty, he would make the toy cry, then cuddle it, holding it up to his shoulder to comfort the tiny monkey.

Today, though, he seemed to have changed his nurturing technique. After a few rounds of monkey shrieking, I asked Hayden, “What’s Baby Marty doing?”

“Cwying.”

“And what do we do when he cries?”

The old answer was to demonstrate loving up the monkey. But today, Hayden’s answer was:

“I s’ake!” And he shook Baby Marty.

He will probably not be the one in charge of helping to calm the baby when she comes.

The Haydicon and the dictionary of Haydenese continue to grow—and change. As he learns new words and sounds, he grows out of some of his old “baby talk,” and it’s sad to see it go. For example, “nanee” (candy) is slowly becoming “tanee” (which is a little strange, since he can pronounce a c/k sound, but only does for certain words).

Here are some of his latest Haydenisms:

turkey i’ saw (“Turkey in the Straw,” the song the ice cream truck plays)
yedder (letter, by extension, anything that is rectangular)
yunt/yunch (lunch, namely, a sandwich)
Whissers (Whiskers, the cat)
dasses (glasses)
tontack (this morning he had to put in his ‘tontacks’ This involved fiddling with his fingers, then nearly touching his eyes.)
dama (pajamas)
dip dip (zip zip; not to be confused with “dip dip dip,” ranch dressing)
fum? (I wonder who it’s from, always in conjunction with a letter)
sum (thumb)
hrends (friends, who the letter is from)
hridge (fridge)
dum (drum)
pain (plane)
owie (a hangnail/snag on my nail/broken nail, or regular owies)
tain (train)
tassel (castle)
belt (belt or bell)
fah me (follow me)
sose (close)
tick (kick; how we turn out the lights before bed)
winkle sar (twinkle star, and yes, that is its “proper” name)
tissies (kisses)
toas’ (toast)
toesies (toes)
tanee (candy, evolved from “nanee,” though the two are currently in what we linguists call “free variation” (he uses them both))
tandle/tannel (candle, this is evolved from “nandle/nannel/nanu”)
tout (cut)
messy? (What’s missing?)
nunners (another)
nummer (number)
gedder (together)
ay yub it (“I love it!”)
pug (plug, usually as “puggit”)
hrink (drink)
sert (shirt)
sorts (shorts)
pats (pants)
c’ock (clock, especially cute when someone asks him a question about time, since he knows to mention the clock)
wight! (Usually repeating whatever you’ve just said, such as “C’ock, wight!” in a very encouraging tone)
yewwow (all colors)
geen (second guess for all colors)
hware (square)
seerkle (circle)
pizza (triangle. And pizza.)

I hate making these lists because I know that I’ll always forget something. Most days I just wish we had a camera on the child all the time, so finally everyone in the world could understand what an adorable little boy he is—and especially his adult imitation. It’s getting pretty good!