The great baby debate

I never had this feeling before Charlie, the temptation to just…stop. . .But the longer we wait, the more seductive it seems to have only (only!) Charlie.

Worth it,” A Little Pregnant

In working toward my goal of 50 comments this week, I’ve gotten to visit lots of new mom blogs. And while I think most of these bloggers weren’t currently pregnant, a lot of them were. One of my friends found out yesterday that her baby is a girl. I told her, “Congratulations!! I’m so jealous (I want a baby and I just stuck my son in his crib for his afternoon breakdown…. I’m crazy.)”

I want another baby. We’ve just finally reached the time when if we got pregnant now, Hayden would be at least two before the baby was born (which is my absolute minimum age difference).

But every time I see a tiny baby and have a visceral “gimmegimme” reaction, I have to ask myself “Why? Why do you want another?” I’ve been programmed my whole life to want several children. I think four sounds good. But I also think one sounds great!

I really believe I died when I had Hayden. I had to. My old self had to die and I had to become a mom. And it took a long time. I was still struggling with it in January.

I have a secret hope confidence I won’t have to die the second time around. I’m a mom now. Everyone tells me that each child is progressively easier, and that #1 is the hardest.

But I’m still terribly nervous about having another child. As I’ve said before, “Isn’t it funny how one week you’re so in love with them that you simply must have another, and the next week you doubt your sanity for ever wanting kids?”

Maybe I was also hoping that I’d have motherhood and finding fulfillment in motherhood all figured out by now. Wouldn’t it be nice to finally have the task that you believe is the purpose of life all figured out just over 1 year into it? I don’t have all the nice, pat answers that we all like to get about why we’ll have another, but I do know that it’s right for our familyand that Ryan and I both really want another.

When it really comes down to it, the great baby debate isn’t about whether we will have another. It’s about when.

PS—Dear family, Oh Long Johnson. Oh Don Piano. Oh memories.

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8 thoughts on “The great baby debate

  1. Gotta love babies. :) I only have my one…and she will be it, but it is hard to resist those little buggers!
    How are you doing on your quest to make 50 comments?

  2. For me I looked at having children as an evolution of myself. I have three and each time I became a more improved version of my former self. We also believe in not if you will have another, but when. I have 3 girls. The older two are 11 and 9 and my youngest is 2. It’s quite an age difference but the best thing I ever done when looking back in retrospect. We even toy with the idea of one more. :~)

  3. Helen—that’s awesome. Way to do what’s right for you!

    Corey—sweet babies… Sigh… I’m currently (after just commenting on your blog) at 39 comments on 34 blogs, and I have about 8 or 9 more blogs to read over and comment on. I’d say it’s going very well!

  4. “Isn’t it funny how one week you’re so in love with them that you simply must have another, and the next week you doubt your sanity for ever wanting kids?”

    Ya, see….I never once thought that in the three and a half years SF is with us…Am I weird? One is Pah-lenty for me.

  5. Sounds like you are doing great! I haven’t kept track, but I am working hard at commenting too! :) there is some good stuff out there!

  6. I can completely identify with the baby debate. 😀 For us, it all happened so fast. One night last fall, we were playing with our (then almost) two year old and she was being so CUTE and FUNNY and AMAZING and I looked at DH and said, “this is so much fun . . . don’t you want to do it again?” He agreed, and before we knew it, we were well on our way to growing our family.

    I would bet that now that you know there will be at least one more, it happens sooner than you might think.

    Best wishes in whatever you decide!!

  7. I would love lots of kids — if only I am not working full time!! The question for us is also WHEN. I just got a new job and it would shock my boss if I get pregnant right now. We look at our daughter and tell ourselves, we should have made another sooner!! I have 5 others siblings after me and it sure is fun. I can’t promise to make five more but at least we will try for another one.

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