Comments on: The Taming of the Mom http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/ mom's search for meaning Sat, 11 Feb 2012 07:19:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Shannon http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5780 Shannon Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:08:01 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5780 Absolutely true. I love that idea of defining yourself in relation to someone else. I too had a really rough first several months as a mom. No one ever really tells you about what "baby blues/post-partum depression" really mean. However, the major adjustment for me was, not only to my new role and getting used to being responsible all the time for this little guy, but my new motherhood in relation to my husband and our marriage. It was a very rough patch for us as I dealt with hormones and sleep deprivation while trying to learn how to ask for the help I needed instead of becoming frustrated and bitter. I am still learning, but our marriage and our parental selves are in a much better "normal" place. I think the challenge for me was RE-defining myself in relation to my hubby as Mom and Dad. Absolutely true. I love that idea of defining yourself in relation to someone else. I too had a really rough first several months as a mom. No one ever really tells you about what “baby blues/post-partum depression” really mean. However, the major adjustment for me was, not only to my new role and getting used to being responsible all the time for this little guy, but my new motherhood in relation to my husband and our marriage.

It was a very rough patch for us as I dealt with hormones and sleep deprivation while trying to learn how to ask for the help I needed instead of becoming frustrated and bitter. I am still learning, but our marriage and our parental selves are in a much better “normal” place.

I think the challenge for me was RE-defining myself in relation to my hubby as Mom and Dad.

]]> By: wonderweiss http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5778 wonderweiss Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:40:16 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5778 Simply relaxing and enjoying each other...wouldn't that be the biggest pleasure of mothering if it were to come true? When the rare moment comes that I can just sit back and play with my daughter for a while, and see how calm and precious she can be, I always vow to do it more often. Then life occurs... It is hard I think to be "tamed" by our children. But when we discover how awesome the "new normal" is, it takes the sting of the transition away. Thanks for a great blog! Simply relaxing and enjoying each other…wouldn’t that be the biggest pleasure of mothering if it were to come true? When the rare moment comes that I can just sit back and play with my daughter for a while, and see how calm and precious she can be, I always vow to do it more often. Then life occurs…

It is hard I think to be “tamed” by our children. But when we discover how awesome the “new normal” is, it takes the sting of the transition away.

Thanks for a great blog!

]]> By: Marnee http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5775 Marnee Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:33:59 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5775 Wow, this is so spot on. Great blog, Jordan. I am the kind of person who finds the silly in everything. But, when you're a mom, you have to be the role-model until your offspring figures out what is acceptable to be silly about and what needs to be serious. It's been hard for me to find the happy median between my silly, more childlike perspective on everything and the more serious undertones of being responsible for someone else's moral upbringing. I also had a rough time with the "it's ok to blow dry my hair" stuff. In the beginning, I had a hard time taking a few minutes out to pamper myself. It seemed any time I sat down to paint my toenails I'd feel guilty, like those moments could be better served "rearing" my baby. I realized though, after much internal wrestling, that those minutes go so far in my feelings of self-worth and well-being that they were worth it. In some way, they make me a better mom. Wow, this is so spot on. Great blog, Jordan.

I am the kind of person who finds the silly in everything. But, when you’re a mom, you have to be the role-model until your offspring figures out what is acceptable to be silly about and what needs to be serious. It’s been hard for me to find the happy median between my silly, more childlike perspective on everything and the more serious undertones of being responsible for someone else’s moral upbringing.

I also had a rough time with the “it’s ok to blow dry my hair” stuff. In the beginning, I had a hard time taking a few minutes out to pamper myself. It seemed any time I sat down to paint my toenails I’d feel guilty, like those moments could be better served “rearing” my baby. I realized though, after much internal wrestling, that those minutes go so far in my feelings of self-worth and well-being that they were worth it. In some way, they make me a better mom.

]]> By: Jordan http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5774 Jordan Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:13:22 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5774 Thank you, ladies! I've been feeling like I was the only one who experienced this for a long time, partially because, like Lindsey, I felt like no one ever talked about it (and if I talked about, it sounded like I didn't like it . . . which, honestly, a lot of the time I didn't!). Lindsey—I've been meaning to write about that same "new normal" phenomenon for a while now! Thank you, ladies! I’ve been feeling like I was the only one who experienced this for a long time, partially because, like Lindsey, I felt like no one ever talked about it (and if I talked about, it sounded like I didn’t like it . . . which, honestly, a lot of the time I didn’t!).

Lindsey—I’ve been meaning to write about that same “new normal” phenomenon for a while now!

]]> By: Lindsey http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5773 Lindsey Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:56:30 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5773 Wow! You have put into words what I've been trying to figure out for years! Marriage didn't involve any transition for us. Sure, now we were living together, but we each found the other very easy to live with. But motherhood came as a major shocker. Why didn't anyone ever talk of the challenges?!?! Things started to come together for me when I asked a friend who recently had her fourth baby if she'd gotten back to normal yet. She said that she was still trying to figure out what their new normal would be. That really clicked with me for some reason. It's not about getting back to normal when you marry or have a baby; you have to find a new normal. And then I read this and it all fell into place. I unwittingly figured out who I was in relation with my first fairly easily after those first rough months together. But I'm still trying to figure out who I am in relation to three different little men. It will come. And I think it's a beautiful thing! To go through life so intimately connected with others. To offer and receive support from each other. It really isn't about losing yourself, but getting to be part of something bigger and more amazing than we could ever be by ourselves. Thank you, Jordan:) Wow! You have put into words what I’ve been trying to figure out for years! Marriage didn’t involve any transition for us. Sure, now we were living together, but we each found the other very easy to live with. But motherhood came as a major shocker. Why didn’t anyone ever talk of the challenges?!?!
Things started to come together for me when I asked a friend who recently had her fourth baby if she’d gotten back to normal yet. She said that she was still trying to figure out what their new normal would be. That really clicked with me for some reason. It’s not about getting back to normal when you marry or have a baby; you have to find a new normal. And then I read this and it all fell into place.
I unwittingly figured out who I was in relation with my first fairly easily after those first rough months together. But I’m still trying to figure out who I am in relation to three different little men. It will come. And I think it’s a beautiful thing! To go through life so intimately connected with others. To offer and receive support from each other. It really isn’t about losing yourself, but getting to be part of something bigger and more amazing than we could ever be by ourselves.
Thank you, Jordan:)

]]> By: Jenny http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5772 Jenny Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:38:03 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/the-taming-of-the-mom/#comment-5772 I've never seen that movie, but I totally get what you're saying. I’ve never seen that movie, but I totally get what you’re saying.

]]>