Comments on: What works for you? http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/ mom's search for meaning Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:54:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Mommy Zabs http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4717 Mommy Zabs Tue, 15 Jan 2008 22:02:27 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4717 oh i have also heard that parenting with love and logic is good. i have it but have not read it yet! oh i have also heard that parenting with love and logic is good. i have it but have not read it yet!

]]> By: Mommy Zabs http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4716 Mommy Zabs Tue, 15 Jan 2008 22:01:28 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4716 it is totally a phase. figure out your discipline, one that he gets, and be consistant with it. Eventually it will stop if you are consistant, it just sometimes takes some time to see the fruit! it is totally a phase. figure out your discipline, one that he gets, and be consistant with it. Eventually it will stop if you are consistant, it just sometimes takes some time to see the fruit!

]]> By: killlashandra http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4708 killlashandra Fri, 11 Jan 2008 20:17:24 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4708 We didn't have too many problems with biting. He bit his step brother and me twice got verbally reprimanded and believe it or not hasn't done in a while. It's too much to hope that biting won't crop up again. However, tantrums are a different story. When those start at home, the screaming over nothing or because he lost the chance to play with something after he broke it, or just saying no to anything I send him to his room for a time out. He usually runs off screaming, cries for a while in his room then decides to let the toys distract him and gets over it fairly quick. In stores I just bodily pick him up and leave. But if memory serves, I've only had to do it once. Knock on wood. :) We didn’t have too many problems with biting. He bit his step brother and me twice got verbally reprimanded and believe it or not hasn’t done in a while. It’s too much to hope that biting won’t crop up again.

However, tantrums are a different story. When those start at home, the screaming over nothing or because he lost the chance to play with something after he broke it, or just saying no to anything I send him to his room for a time out. He usually runs off screaming, cries for a while in his room then decides to let the toys distract him and gets over it fairly quick. In stores I just bodily pick him up and leave. But if memory serves, I’ve only had to do it once. Knock on wood. :)

]]> By: Kakie Fitzsimmons http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4704 Kakie Fitzsimmons Fri, 11 Jan 2008 01:34:04 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4704 "Parenting with love and logic" book. It is a must read. The stuff in there really works!!! It's not the end all be all, but I was grateful I read it!!!! http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Love-Logic-Teaching-Responsibility/dp/0891093117 Warmest Regards “Parenting with love and logic” book. It is a must read. The stuff in there really works!!! It’s not the end all be all, but I was grateful I read it!!!!

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Love-Logic-Teaching-Responsibility/dp/0891093117

Warmest Regards

]]> By: Tina http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4702 Tina Thu, 10 Jan 2008 05:57:11 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4702 None of our kids were ever biters, but what mom has not dealt with a tantrum? When our kids were still very small, I recieved a great tip, that worked especially well in a store or other public place. You pick up your child and talk softly so only they can hear: You may not throw a tantrum here. If you continue I will need to discipline you. If they do not stop, the discipline is a pinch in the fleshy part of their tricep or inner thigh. Of course it does not have to be hard, but it is effective. Expect a shriek the first time you try it, but the child is already throwing a tantrum, so not a big change right? Tell them that if they do not stop crying, you will need to repeat the discipline. We found this a great preventive! For future tantrum, usually the idea of a coming pinch was all that was needed. It is not easily observed either, by other people who may not share the ideas of child training as you also. One more bonus, you are already holding the child so you may comfort and restore fellowship with a hug right away. None of our kids were ever biters, but what mom has not dealt with a tantrum?
When our kids were still very small, I recieved a great tip, that worked especially well in a store or other public place.
You pick up your child and talk softly so only they can hear:
You may not throw a tantrum here. If you continue I will need to discipline you.
If they do not stop, the discipline is a pinch in the fleshy part of their tricep or inner thigh. Of course it does not have to be hard, but it is effective.
Expect a shriek the first time you try it, but the child is already throwing a tantrum, so not a big change right?
Tell them that if they do not stop crying, you will need to repeat the discipline.
We found this a great preventive! For future tantrum, usually the idea of a coming pinch was all that was needed.
It is not easily observed either, by other people who may not share the ideas of child training as you also.
One more bonus, you are already holding the child so you may comfort and restore fellowship with a hug right away.

]]> By: phyllis http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4701 phyllis Thu, 10 Jan 2008 03:24:56 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4701 we used a great book called "teeth are not for biting" and we read it often. "teeth are not for biting. ouch! biting hurts!" and we'd talk about it. often. but in many ways they just have to grow out of it, i guess....oy. good luck! we used a great book called “teeth are not for biting” and we read it often. “teeth are not for biting. ouch! biting hurts!” and we’d talk about it. often. but in many ways they just have to grow out of it, i guess….oy. good luck!

]]> By: Candace (Mama Mia) http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4700 Candace (Mama Mia) Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:27:16 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4700 My daughter had a well visit today and my pediatrician told me that if she starts hitting, bitting, and throwing tantrums (she's 15 months) to pick her up and take her out of the situation- put her down in the middle of the room and then walk away. She'll learn that that kind of behaviour doesn't get attention and (hopefully) stop. My daughter had a well visit today and my pediatrician told me that if she starts hitting, bitting, and throwing tantrums (she’s 15 months) to pick her up and take her out of the situation- put her down in the middle of the room and then walk away. She’ll learn that that kind of behaviour doesn’t get attention and (hopefully) stop.

]]> By: Michelle http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4699 Michelle Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:00:25 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4699 Ain't toddlers fun?? We do a lot of time out on the stairs, and when she's totally out of control, she goes to her room until she's calm. We also have her show us "gentle" (a soft pat) after she's been physical with us. After a few months, she is starting to sound genuine in her apologies. If there are issues in the car, her music goes off. If there are issues at bedtime, I leave her room until she's "ready". Mind you, it doesn't always work--just the other day, I found her ON TOP OF HER DRESSER. Ain’t toddlers fun?? We do a lot of time out on the stairs, and when she’s totally out of control, she goes to her room until she’s calm. We also have her show us “gentle” (a soft pat) after she’s been physical with us. After a few months, she is starting to sound genuine in her apologies.

If there are issues in the car, her music goes off. If there are issues at bedtime, I leave her room until she’s “ready”.

Mind you, it doesn’t always work–just the other day, I found her ON TOP OF HER DRESSER.

]]> By: Stretch Mark Mama http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4698 Stretch Mark Mama Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:58:04 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4698 Had a biter for nearly two years of his life. YIKES is right. We tried nearly everything. For the most part, you will have to shadow your child EVERYWHERE and make sure the punishment you have determined is quick and consistent. We used a spoonful of hot sauce for a while. I have heard of people using a spray bottle with diluted vinegar and squirting a little in the child's mouth. Other advice: Make sure you apologize again and again to the mother of the child who was bit. Do this as soon as possible, and it is Very Important. I learned that lesson the hard way. For whatever reason, biting is seen as The Ultimate Toddler Sin. (And for whatever reason, some kids just take out their frustration in this way; it's perfectly normal toddler behavior.) Another thought: I know that as a mother of a biter, it can be a very isolating and anger-producing kind of journey. Just hang in there and know that This Too Will End, even if it's not on your schedule. You will have to make some sacrificies for a while (like if you attend church - you will need to go in the nursery WITH your child) but some day it will be a distant memory. Until then, just know that there are others who have felt the pain of being the Mother of the Biter! I shed many an angry tear over feeling so out of control of my child!!! And if you have those angry feelings, just be sure to separate your child from you while you cool down enough to discipline. If you have a trusted friend who will "let" their child have a play date with yours, this is one of the better ways to practice disciplining in the home before you have to deal with the biting in public. Our biter was an only child at the time, so that made it hard to discipline the action. He wasn't exactly biting us!! :) HTH. Had a biter for nearly two years of his life. YIKES is right. We tried nearly everything. For the most part, you will have to shadow your child EVERYWHERE and make sure the punishment you have determined is quick and consistent. We used a spoonful of hot sauce for a while. I have heard of people using a spray bottle with diluted vinegar and squirting a little in the child’s mouth.

Other advice: Make sure you apologize again and again to the mother of the child who was bit. Do this as soon as possible, and it is Very Important. I learned that lesson the hard way. For whatever reason, biting is seen as The Ultimate Toddler Sin. (And for whatever reason, some kids just take out their frustration in this way; it’s perfectly normal toddler behavior.)

Another thought: I know that as a mother of a biter, it can be a very isolating and anger-producing kind of journey. Just hang in there and know that This Too Will End, even if it’s not on your schedule. You will have to make some sacrificies for a while (like if you attend church – you will need to go in the nursery WITH your child) but some day it will be a distant memory. Until then, just know that there are others who have felt the pain of being the Mother of the Biter! I shed many an angry tear over feeling so out of control of my child!!! And if you have those angry feelings, just be sure to separate your child from you while you cool down enough to discipline.

If you have a trusted friend who will “let” their child have a play date with yours, this is one of the better ways to practice disciplining in the home before you have to deal with the biting in public. Our biter was an only child at the time, so that made it hard to discipline the action. He wasn’t exactly biting us!! :)

HTH.

]]> By: Holly @Aiminghigh http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4697 Holly @Aiminghigh Wed, 09 Jan 2008 16:55:35 +0000 http://www.mamablogga.com/what-works-for-you/#comment-4697 Most little people bite because they don't have the knowledge that it hurts. They really don't want to hurt someone, especially Mommy or Daddy. The first time each of my children bit someone, I gently took them aside and explained that that was a mean thing to do and that it hurt someone. I would then, tell them I was going to show them what "hurt" means. I very carefully bit them back...not hard, but just enough to show them that it hurt. (DON'T DO THIS IF YOU ARE ANGRY AT THE TIME.) We then had a nice cuddle-cosy time and I prayed for my child aloud that God would remind them about "hurt" and they would not be tempted to bite again. NONE of my four children ever bit someone again. I have a friend with a child that bites...and has been biting for over a year now. My children have been bitten by this child so many times. When I told her my method (she had asked for advice) she looked at me horrified and said she would in no way ever bite her child. She was more interested in allowing her child to seriously harm my children, and others, than in having to do some difficult parental training. I have since had to refuse many play dates until the situation can be controlled. Most little people bite because they don’t have the knowledge that it hurts. They really don’t want to hurt someone, especially Mommy or Daddy. The first time each of my children bit someone, I gently took them aside and explained that that was a mean thing to do and that it hurt someone. I would then, tell them I was going to show them what “hurt” means. I very carefully bit them back…not hard, but just enough to show them that it hurt. (DON’T DO THIS IF YOU ARE ANGRY AT THE TIME.) We then had a nice cuddle-cosy time and I prayed for my child aloud that God would remind them about “hurt” and they would not be tempted to bite again. NONE of my four children ever bit someone again.

I have a friend with a child that bites…and has been biting for over a year now. My children have been bitten by this child so many times. When I told her my method (she had asked for advice) she looked at me horrified and said she would in no way ever bite her child. She was more interested in allowing her child to seriously harm my children, and others, than in having to do some difficult parental training. I have since had to refuse many play dates until the situation can be controlled.

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