Month: August 2010

Categories
Fulfillment

Feeling accomplished

What does it mean to feel accomplished? And why are we focusing on that right now?

While this probably varies from person to person, for me, I feel accomplished when I know I’ve done something worthwhile. That can range from something I enjoy doing for myself to moments when I know I’m being a good mom. But at the end of the day, if I can look at two or three concrete times that I’ve focused on those things, I feel like I’ve done something.

Motherhood’s not about accomplishment, of course. It’s not about getting your kids into/through the most extracurriculars. It’s not about making sure your house is continually spotless (thank heaven!). It’s not about doing more than someone else.

But so much of motherhood is something you have to do over and over again, without anything to show for it: discipline (enforcing the same rule, delivering the same lecture, until it seems like you children must be incapable of understanding that it’s bad to hit or treat the baby like that—or possibly learning at all), housekeeping (nice clean clothes/room/child + kids = no more clean), cooking (it all gets eaten and you just have to make more in a few more hours—not to mention picky kids!). It can also feel a little Sisyphean pretty quickly.

Having something that you can look to at the end of the day and say “Hey, I did something today,” lets us know that we’re moving forward and not just spinning our wheels. Eventually, we will be able to look back on all these years as something that we “did” (we hope) (as if being a parent is ever “done”), but I want to find that sense of accomplishment amid the everyday work of motherhood.

As I was typing this, Rebecca reminded me how simple this can be. She struggled and climbed up to sit next to me on the loveseat. She scooted back to sit comfortably and looked up at me. “Me did it!” she proclaimed. Even a toddler understands the power of that feeling of accomplishment.

What do you think? What does it mean to feel “accomplished” to you? What makes you feel accomplished?

Categories
Fulfillment

Feeling fulfilled Fridays!

It’s the first week of feeling fulfilled Friday on MamaBlogga! Here’s how it works:

  1. Make a list of things that make you feel accomplished (but aren’t so huge that they take more than a day or a week)
  2. During the week, try to focus on those things that help us feel accomplished
  3. Report on feeling fulfilled Friday

This week had definite ups and downs. Over the weekend, I came up with 13 things that make me feel “super accomplished.” On Monday, I managed to hit several—I turned off the television for hours. I read scriptures with the kids, played with the kids, helped them learn something new and even exercised.

On Tuesday, I did the laundry. I wasn’t as patient as I should be (when am I ever?). It’s always frustrating to send literally, physically drag Hayden to his room as discipline, but it wasn’t until Rachel spent the entire afternoon fussing that I really started to lose it. I finally had to put her down in my room so I could make dinner without hearing her screaming. So I’m chained to the kitchen, making dinner, Rachel’s screaming nonstop for an hour, and Hayden and Rebecca choose this time to play with water in the bathroom. Tears ensued, and I thought my whole week was shot.

Wednesday, the kids lost my keys (I found them after being inspired to look in a cardboard box they like to hide things in). Several times during Tuesday and Wednesday, I was so overwhelmed that I turned on the television and planted myself in front of the computer for completely (or mostly) unproductive surfing. Thursday morning it looked like I was going to have to make do with less than five hours of sleep again. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to write this post today.

But you know what? It didn’t end up all bad. I got more sleep Thursday, and was careful not to get on the computer. Yeah, we still spent most of the day in front of the TV, but I was more engaged with the kids, and they got into less trouble and needed less disciplining.

And that feels good.

What makes you feel accomplished? How did you feel fulfilled this week?

Categories
Fulfillment

Feeling fulfilled Fridays badges

On Friday, I announced Feeling Fulfilled Fridays, a new feature on MamaBlogga to help us mothers see the things we’ve accomplished.

I’m starting by making a list of things that make me feel “super accomplished”—the things that make me feel like a good mother as I’m doing them or afterward. This week, I’m going to pick just a few of those things to work on each day, and report back on Friday.

Want to participate? Spread the word! Grab one of these badges (code below, the only difference is size), make one of your own, blog about it, Tweet it, Facebook it—but most importantly, think about the little things that make you feel like you’ve done a good job as a mother!

<a href="http://www.mamablogga.com/feeling-fulfilled-fridays/" title="Feeling Fulfilled Fridays" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z41/MamaBlogga/FFF.png" style="border: 1px solid #4c2400;" alt="Feeling Fulfilled Fridays badge" /><br />feel fulfilled in motherhood with MamaBlogga</a>

<a href="http://www.mamablogga.com/feeling-fulfilled-fridays/" title="Feeling Fulfilled Fridays" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z41/MamaBlogga/FFFsmall.png" style="border: 1px solid #4c2400;" alt="Feeling Fulfilled Fridays badge" /><br />feel fulfilled in motherhood with MamaBlogga</a>

What’s on your list?

Categories
Fulfillment

Feeling Fulfilled Fridays!

A New Feature on MamaBlogga

A couple months ago, one of my bloggy friends wrote a short post detailing things that made her feel “super accomplished.” Her list included things she’d done with each member of her family that week—specifically, time she’d spent one-on-one with each of them—as well as things that make her happy personally. A-ha, I thought. That has something to do with fulfillment! How can I steal build upon that?

The “big” accomplishment of motherhood is years—even decades—away. We can’t put off feeling fulfilled in this most important calling until our kids have kids of their own. So I want to help mothers find fulfillment in motherhood (and find it myself) every day—or at least once a week. And since Friday is not only alliterative, but a good time to review the accomplishments of a week, that’s when we’ll do it!

So, what are Feeling Fulfilled Fridays? They’re Fridays where we can look back over our week and say, “Yeah, I accomplished something this week.”

How do we know we’ve accomplished something? This can work a couple different ways. For me, I’m going to make a list of things that make me feel super accomplished. (Note: not über accomplished, like birthing a baby or finishing a first draft. Those kind of “accomplishment” milestones are a long time coming. I’m sticking to stuff I can do in a day or a week.) On Sundays or Mondays, I’m going to pick two or three things from the list and strive to complete those at least once during the week. On Fridays, I’ll share.

Great. How can you get in on that action? I’m so glad you asked! The way I most want you to participate is to think about things that make you feel accomplished as a mom and a person and make time for those things. But if you’d like to report back on how that experience makes you feel, I’d be delighted to hear about it. Next week, I’ll have a Mr Linky (or something similar) up for people to add links to their blog posts. You can also comment on next week’s Feeling Fulfilled Friday post if you don’t want to do your own.

Until then, spread the word! Let’s see how many people we can get in on this! Check back on Monday for awesome badges for your blog.

So, what makes you feel super accomplished?

Photo by Leo Reynolds

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Surprise potty!

Saturday night I was putting Rebecca in the tub when she announced, “Poopy commy!” [coming]. We still have out little training potty in the bathroom, so I set her on that, confident that poopy was not commy, and went to tell Ryan.

A minute or two later, I could hear Rebecca crying. I headed for the bathroom and met her running down the hall. We went to check the potty.

Rebecca had peed in the potty! (I think it must have scared her and she thought she wasn’t supposed to pee there.)


(Story of the picture: Rebecca picked up a clean onesie on the couch. “Wait-dow [Rachel] jammas!” Next thing I knew, she’d put them on.)

Ryan and I praised her highly (and cleaned her up), and then put Rebecca in the tub. She said she had to go again, so I put her back, and she did.

After her bath, she insisted once again that she needed to use the potty, so I put her on once again. This time, however, she didn’t have as much luck. After a few minutes of waiting, she stood up and stuck her face into the potty chair.

“Poopy, come ON!”

What milestones are you celebrating these days?