Tag: joy

Categories
Fulfillment

Don’t overthink happiness!

Ryan got a subscription to Fitness magazine, thinking with a name like “Fitness” it would be for both genders. Of course, it’s really not. (I don’t know; are the pictures of half- and quarter-dressed women supposed to appeal to women? I know I don’t work out in underwear.)

I like to read it, though, especially after I saw this blurb on a study from Perspectives on Psychological Science in the October 2011 issue of Fitness (p 105; emphasis mine):
daddy reading to rachel

Women reported experiencing worse moods after reading an article touting the importance of joy and then immediately taking part in a fun activity. “Setting higher expectations for happiness can actually lead you to feel less happy,” says study coauthor Jane Gruber, Ph.D. . . . To avoid that buzzkill, pause to savor little feel-good moments. . . . “Enjoying the activities themselves, rather than because you think they are going to make you happy, is key,” Gruber says.

What do you think? What are your “little feel-good moments”? (You can see one of mine at right!)

Categories
Fulfillment Faith

J is for Joy!

Yeah, I know, J was Tuesday. But I did L Tuesday and now I’m doing J. It’s all good.

Men are, that they might have joy.


Typically, people define the difference between happiness and joy with happiness being more fleeting, and joy being deeper, stronger, and longer lasting.

I think that’s pretty accurate. Joy and happiness can co-exist. I see both in the little moments of motherhood.

I think Joy is built from little moments of happiness, with the assurance (or at least the conviction) that our choices are on the right track—that we’re doing what we should be.

What do you think? How do you define Joy? When do you feel it?

Photo by Collin Mel Cunningham

Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

Finding that sweet moment

kids-feb-mar-2009-036smallAs of yesterday, I’ve been a mother of two for nine months. It hasn’t been everything I expected—or maybe I should say feared. Yes, at times it has been very stressful (especially lately with both children suddenly thinking they need to make sure I wake at least every hour during the night).

But, as I always seem to find, enjoying motherhood is less about what my kids do and more about who they are. Of course, that’s also manifest in their actions, but their little personalities are some of the biggest joys of this life.

Especially when their little personalities get along so well.

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Naturally, Rebecca is fascinated with Hayden. She can’t keep her eyes off him when he’s in the room. She laughs easiest at his antics. Even his mere presence can be enough to elicit a giggle.

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And for his part, Hayden loves his little sister “Werbecca” very much. His favorite things to do seem to be helping to sing a lullaby before her naps and bedtime (“Baby Beluga”) and being there to wake her up after her naps. (Of course, since she finds him so interesting and entertaining, sometimes his efforts to help put her down aren’t so helpful after all, but it’s still sweet.)

A recent comment here really struck me. Mom on the Go said:

Don’t wait for the day that you can say it’s worth it. Wait for the moment. Grace comes in all lengths of time. The short ones seem to come with the small kids.

A few weeks ago, I let Hayden go in to talk to Rebecca after she woke up from a nap, while I was finishing up something on the computer. I came in to get my giggling children and I found one of those moments just waiting for me:

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What moments have you found lately?

Categories
Fulfillment

“Finding” fulfillment is misleading

“Finding fulfillment in motherhood” is not just part of the title element of this blog; it’s part of MamaBlogga’s mission. However, I know that using the word “find” is misleading.

It makes it sound as though one day I’m going to wake up and feel whole, completely satisfied in my life as a mother. It makes it seem like there’s something waiting out there for me. It makes it’s seem like one Christmas morning, I’ll unwrap a present and be able to hold up my fulfillment for everyone to see—”See? I finally found it! It’s my fulfillment!” In this analogy, it’s a tangible thing, something that I’ll earn or discover one day, never to lose again.

Last week I was in Target and saw an inspirational poster that read, “Life isn’t about finding yourself; it’s about building yourself.” That really struck home with me. I realized that life isn’t about finding fulfillment either.

It’s about building fulfillment. It’s about accumulating a type of accomplishments—relationships—that might not win you awards or paychecks, but will sustain you like nothing else can.

And it’s something I’ll have to work to build every day.

Have you started building your own fulfillment?

Categories
Fulfillment

Find fulfillment today

Sometimes, I really think we (or at least I) overthink finding fulfillment. And I think it’s because I tend to dwell on the negative.

It’s not that I’m pessimistic, although it does probably have something to do with my tendency to be overwhelmed a little too easily. When I am overwhelmed or stressed or just not the mother that I want to be, I become consumed by that moment. I don’t want to get up to face the day; I can’t stomach the prospect of keeping Hayden out of the knife drawer for three more hours; I’m just so emotionally exhausted.

I just can’t do it sometimes. And during those times, whether it’s Hayden whining for two hours straight, or constantly making messes or smacking me in the face, I am all consumed. It’s those times that make an impression on my mind: motherhood is hard.

And while those struggling times can be frequent with a toddler in the house, they really aren’t the full picture. It can be easy to forget the easy times, the good times, and the happy times, and they certainly don’t have the same cumulative effect in my mind.

So this weekend, while you’re having a picnic, camping in the backyard, playing board games, at the ball game or just chilling at home, pause for just a moment to remind yourself, “This is it—this is motherhood. Not all the work, not the messes—the love and the joy and the . . . ticklebugs!”

Pardon me—I see a little boy who needs a tickling.