MamaBlogga

“Finding fulfillment in motherhood” is not just part of the title element of this blog; it’s part of MamaBlogga’s mission. However, I know that using the word “find” is misleading.

It makes it sound as though one day I’m going to wake up and feel whole, completely satisfied in my life as a mother. It makes it seem like there’s something waiting out there for me. It makes it’s seem like one Christmas morning, I’ll unwrap a present and be able to hold up my fulfillment for everyone to see—”See? I finally found it! It’s my fulfillment!” In this analogy, it’s a tangible thing, something that I’ll earn or discover one day, never to lose again.

Last week I was in Target and saw an inspirational poster that read, “Life isn’t about finding yourself; it’s about building yourself.” That really struck home with me. I realized that life isn’t about finding fulfillment either.

It’s about building fulfillment. It’s about accumulating a type of accomplishments—relationships—that might not win you awards or paychecks, but will sustain you like nothing else can.

And it’s something I’ll have to work to build every day.

Have you started building your own fulfillment?

Sometimes, I really think we (or at least I) overthink finding fulfillment. And I think it’s because I tend to dwell on the negative.

It’s not that I’m pessimistic, although it does probably have something to do with my tendency to be overwhelmed a little too easily. When I am overwhelmed or stressed or just not the mother that I want to be, I become consumed by that moment. I don’t want to get up to face the day; I can’t stomach the prospect of keeping Hayden out of the knife drawer for three more hours; I’m just so emotionally exhausted.

I just can’t do it sometimes. And during those times, whether it’s Hayden whining for two hours straight, or constantly making messes or smacking me in the face, I am all consumed. It’s those times that make an impression on my mind: motherhood is hard.

And while those struggling times can be frequent with a toddler in the house, they really aren’t the full picture. It can be easy to forget the easy times, the good times, and the happy times, and they certainly don’t have the same cumulative effect in my mind.

So this weekend, while you’re having a picnic, camping in the backyard, playing board games, at the ball game or just chilling at home, pause for just a moment to remind yourself, “This is it—this is motherhood. Not all the work, not the messes—the love and the joy and the . . . ticklebugs!”

Pardon me—I see a little boy who needs a tickling.