MamaBlogga

Every time I get Hayden a banana, Rebecca claps her hands. “Meeee? Meeee?” she asks in her nasal little voice, jabbing a finger in her chest.

Rebecca doesn’t like bananas. (I started keeping a list of the foods she does like; there are about a dozen.) And yet every time I start peeling one, she wants it.

“You don’t like bananas,” I tell her.

“Meeee? Meeee?”

“You won’t like it.”

She grins and signs please. (She’s even recently begun trying to say it, usually “pee” or “tee.”)

I know she doesn’t like bananas. Usually, it’s only been a day or two since the last time we went through this routine, so it’s not like she suddenly developed a taste for them. But still, I worry—what if maybe she would like bananas? What if my saying “You don’t like these” is just reinforcing her bias, and she would really like them if I just let her give them a chance?

So just in case, I usually cut off the very tip or just offer it to her. She’ll put her lips on it—no teeth or tongue anywhere near the questionable fruit—and then vehemently shake her head. “‘Ohhh, ‘ohhhh.” (How she says “no.”)

And tomorrow, she’ll probably want it again. I’ll probably give it to her again. Just in case.

Of course, Rebecca may be a little too young to learn that if you keep doing what you’re doing, you keep getting what you’re getting. Then again, maybe I am, too. Sometimes it seems like although I don’t like the way some things are in my life, I don’t want to make the effort to change them. I have just enough energy to whine about them .

What crazy things do your kids ask for? What do you (or your kids) keep trying even though you know you don’t like it?

Photo by eko

When you have a child, you want him or her to be able to succeed. To take on the world and win.

When you have two, you want them to do that together.

And some other fun pictures from the park today:

Shots 1, 2, 3

Hayden dancing on the stage and singing his ABCs

What have you done to help prepare your kids to take on the world—including giving them a sibling to work side-by-side with?

This afternoon, I was struggling with Rebecca, who has recently decided that she would prefer not to have her diaper changed ever again. Hayden watched the writhing and screaming (from both of us) and offered some pointers (he’s already learning how to be a dad! ).

“Becca do not want to be wiped.”

I agreed with his astute assessment.

“You not wipe her?”

“I have to wipe her,” I explained. “She’ll get hurt if I don’t.” Apparently we’ve had the diaper rash discussion enough times before that he accepted this without argument. But after a moment, he offered one more piece of advice to help us avoid future encounters of the #2 kind:

“Becca, stop pooping.”

What incredibly logical arguments did/do your toddlers or preschoolers make?

Yeah, that’s how Hayden understood the phrase “potty training”—something about trains? And potties?

But he did a lot better with understanding the actual potty training. I saw this book in the library and although I was skeptical, I picked up Toilet Training in Less Than A Day. It took about two hours to read, and it still sounded too good to be true.

So with a grain of salt, we sat down in the kitchen to learn about this potty train. Following the procedures of the book, Hayden taught a doll how to go potty, answered endless quizzes on potty procedures, regularly spent 10 minutes on his potty, and checked to see if his pants were wet.

And, um, it worked. He didn’t even really have an accident that first day, though it did take three hours before he went to the bathroom the first time, no matter how much drink I forced down his throat.

And then there was the next day. No accidents. And none the next day. And other than one bedwetting incident, no accidents the next week. This week, we’ve had one bed wetting incident.

Hayden now knows how to use his little potty, empty it into the big potty, flush, replace the bowl and wash his hands all by himself (though he does seem to like an audience still). When he’s in nursery or day care at the gym, he knows to ask his teachers for help. He still needs a little help with wiping, and we have to turn the light on for him (and really, he does like an audience), but often I don’t even know he’s gone until he shouts, “Mommy, I peed!”

So yeah. I can’t promise Toilet Training in Less Than A Day will work for everyone, but much to my surprise, it worked for us!

More WFMW

As of yesterday, I’ve been a mother of two for nine months. It hasn’t been everything I expected—or maybe I should say feared. Yes, at times it has been very stressful (especially lately with both children suddenly thinking they need to make sure I wake at least every hour during the night).

But, as I always seem to find, enjoying motherhood is less about what my kids do and more about who they are. Of course, that’s also manifest in their actions, but their little personalities are some of the biggest joys of this life.

Especially when their little personalities get along so well.

Naturally, Rebecca is fascinated with Hayden. She can’t keep her eyes off him when he’s in the room. She laughs easiest at his antics. Even his mere presence can be enough to elicit a giggle.

And for his part, Hayden loves his little sister “Werbecca” very much. His favorite things to do seem to be helping to sing a lullaby before her naps and bedtime (“Baby Beluga”) and being there to wake her up after her naps. (Of course, since she finds him so interesting and entertaining, sometimes his efforts to help put her down aren’t so helpful after all, but it’s still sweet.)

A recent comment here really struck me. Mom on the Go said:

Don’t wait for the day that you can say it’s worth it. Wait for the moment. Grace comes in all lengths of time. The short ones seem to come with the small kids.

A few weeks ago, I let Hayden go in to talk to Rebecca after she woke up from a nap, while I was finishing up something on the computer. I came in to get my giggling children and I found one of those moments just waiting for me:

What moments have you found lately?

I’m not really going to get into a theory of evolution debate here—really, the more appropriate headline would be “Natural selection works.” I totally believe that and I see evidence of it in my everyday life (“natural selection” is just a lot longer than “evolution”).

Genetics at work: my mother and my daughter

As a mother of very young children, I can tell you exactly how demanding and frustrating babies and toddlers can be—but I’ve come to believe that a babies’ cuteness is, in fact, an inherited defense mechanism against some of their most motherly-frustration-inducing behaviors. My evidence:

1. Cuddling: Although waking me for the eighth time in six hours is decidedly not a good way into my good graces, a quiet, sweet, snuggling baby is pretty tough to stay angry at.
2. Gurgling giggles: It’s five AM and the infant thinks it’s time to get up for the day. But before I can burst into tears, she sees my face and wham—instant gales of excited laughter. Even if I’m not quite as happy to see her at that hour, it’s hard not to forgive her when she’s just so happy to see me.
3. Nap time: When I reach my wits’ end, I know it’s time for a nap (for me and/or the kids ). This can be a double whammy, especially if the baby or toddler is obviously tired but still averse to said nap, and spends half an hour screaming—because when they finally succumb to the much-needed sleep, it’s all the sweeter to peek in on the peacefully slumbering angel (and pray it lasts!).
4. Baby talk: Sure, you can argue their articulatory muscles aren’t fully developed enough to appreciate the nuances of the lateral approximate, but let’s face it: somewhere in his DNA, my son knows that “I yub you!” melts even an annoyed heart faster than plain old “I love you.”
5. Stoic tears: Okay, this one might not be entirely genetic, but who wouldn’t forgive a tantrum from tiny child who bravely insists that he must wipe his own tears?

What other naturally cute behaviors have you seen that totally take the wind out of your frustration?