Forgiving ourselves

I am not a perfect mother. There. I said it.

Okay, I’ve admitted this before. Many times. Just over a year ago, I fed a not-quite-10-month-old Rebecca a Cheeto—but I got over it:

So much of the time, we mothers are quick to judge ourselves. Every time we don’t give our children what they want (even when we know it’s for the best) or aren’t 157% attentive to their needs, we feel as though we’re mean, bad, and ten kinds of terrible. If we don’t keep up on the latest trends—from Baby Gap to Baby Einstein, from Gerber brain-friendly organic finger foods to gerbera daisy hairclips to match every single outfit she owns—we’re bad mothers.

I anticipate the next few weeks will be among the most difficult of my life as a mother as all of us adjust to being a family of five. Today (day two of just me and the kids at home during the day), Rachel was pretty fussy. I ended up holding her nearly all day—which meant that Hayden and Rebecca spent most of the day in front of the TV.

Normally, one of the ways I measure myself as a mom on a day-to-day basis is by the amount of television my children watch. But today, I decided that it’s okay.

Watching television might not be the most productive use of their time (even if it is PBS), and yes, the APA says they should only watch two hours a day. I’m not really proud that they spent well over twice that with the television on today, but at the same time, it’s not worth beating myself up over.

I had to focus on one child’s needs a little more, and that meant I couldn’t be all my children’s cruise-and-entertainment-director every second (horrors). While I hope Rachel’s fussiness will subside relatively quickly, I’m sure it’s only the first time we’ll have to triage like this. And let’s face it, television isn’t the end of the world. So today I won’t act like it is, or that I’m a horrible mother for letting them watch both Super Why and Dragon Tales.

What do you need to forgive yourself for lately?