I was really expecting to basically die after Rebecca was born. The transition from a nonmom to a mom was so difficult for me that I have likened it to dying—the old me-only self had to go away and I had to find a new kind of me-mom self. I had to find new ways to find fulfillment (e.g. this blog), new ways to interact with adults, new ways to interact with my husband and of course, everything about being a mom.
It was, honestly, by far, the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
At times during my pregnancy, I feared that I would have to go through the same transition with Rebecca. Other times, I feared it would be the same but worse—having to go through that while parenting a child in the terrible twos.
Thankfully, this has not been the case—but not actually because Rebecca is a more or less difficult baby than Hayden. In fact, I’m surprised at what has been the same—and what’s completely different.
For example, I think she sleeps slightly better than Hayden did (although she does continue to stay up until all hours, when she finally falls asleep, she usually only wakes up once or maybe twice a night).
On the other hand, Hayden was a champion nurser who learned a comfortable latch almost immediately. Rebecca often chokes and sputters, and her latch still hurts. And on the other hand (how many hands does one mom have?), she has spit up maybe five times. Ever. (Knock on wood!)
Hayden was a very quiet baby from the time he was born—the nurses couldn’t get him to cry in the delivery room. Rebecca doesn’t cry overly much (unless I miss her tired signs!), though more than Hayden did—but she’s a vocal girl. She coos and “talks” to us, and she’s finally starting to use her social smile (don’t tell Ryan, but she likes me best!). (Of course, I know that girls are supposed to talk more than boys, but to beat Hayden, she really would have to talk every waking minute.)
What interesting differences have you noticed among your kids—and what have you been surprised to find is the same?
One reply on “The difference”
I agree, it’s amazing to see the similarities as well as the differences!
Stella is so different from Sarah that I sometimes feel like a first-time mom.
Sarah was good at nursing, but not incredibly into it: she would stop, smile, start, stop, turn around, and later on even sit up. She was also a bit of a picky eater from the very first moment. Not that interested in food, in fact.
Stella was a champion nurser, she latched on better, didn’t get distracted while nursing, really enjoyed it, even after we started solids (whcih she also enjoyed a lot!). That kept me nursing for a little over 10 months, compared to the 5 1/2 months I nursed Sarah. It seemed like such a long time then, now I feel bad about it.
Sarah was lovely, easy, uncomplicated, played a lot on her own.
Stella is loud, demanding and she wants to be included in everything and doesn’t like to play alone.
Sarah was quiet and didn’t speak much until she was almost 3.
Stella talks all the time, repeats everything, knows a lot of words and can string several words together in small sentences and expressions.
One thing they have in common: they want to co-sleep and resist the crib and hate waking up and not finding me there. But Stella is much louder in her protests 🙂