Choosing happiness. It’s been a bit of a theme for the year—one of my resolutions, one of our Group Writing Projects (oh, man, looks like it’s about time for one of those again). It’s something we hear about a lot.
And now I finally know what it means.
Surprisingly, it has a lot to do with why, when I talk about how heart-rendingly difficult stay-at-home motherhood can be, people tell me I should get a job.
It’s because we don’t know how to be happy.
—Liz C, in a comment at Segullah
Choosing to be happy does not mean that we will automatically be happy all the time. It doesn’t mean we always choose whatever might make us happy right this second.
Choosing happiness means we choose the things we know are most important for our long term happiness.
The analogy that keeps springing to my mind is one of food. I like donuts and ice cream and cake and pie . . . I could go on, but you get the idea. Food does make me happy, treats especially. I do the grocery shopping, so if I wanted to, I could stock up on these things every week and eat them every meal.
But I can’t choose cake and ice cream all the time. Yeah, I’d enjoy eating it (to a point), but I would soon get sick, gain weight, and miss out on vital nutrients. (Scurvy, anyone? Oh and PS tooth decay?)
To be happy with my body (liking how I look) and happy in my body (not feeling like crap), I have to make healthier choices. I do enjoy eating healthier foods, too, though not as much as my sugary treats.
The same goes for my day-to-day activities. I could ignore my kids all day, plunk myself down in front of the computer and them in front of the TV (where we are now, thank you), but we all end up grumpy and lazy.
Choosing happiness means doing what I may not want to do most right now—it means choosing the thing that I know is right for me, what’s important in the long run.
Staying home with my children all day may not be an endless delight for me. There are diapers and housekeeping and tantrums and nap strikes. But I believe the most important contribution a person can make to the world is to raise their children right, to show them love, to give them their personal attention. I know that in twenty years, my successful marketing campaigns won’t be what warms the cockles of my heart.
By choosing to raise my children myself, I’m choosing a long, hard road—but one that leads to real, long-term happiness.
What do you think? Are you giving up treats today so you don’t vomit tomorrow?
(More thoughts on how to choose happiness as a mom here.)
Photo by Swamibu
4 replies on “How to choose happiness”
We are very much on the same wave length here! I just posted a blog along the same lines. I now have a 10 year old and a 6 year old, and reflected back on my bumpy ‘stay at home’ start. Looking forward to reading more and getting to know you! Blessings!
Choosing happiness means putting a LOT of trust in the future. Faith, and lots of it, is vital. I am in yet another aaaaaaaaaaa! week (…weeks;)) and it’s really putting my faith to the test that this is what will lead to the most lasting happiness. I know it will. I KNOW it will. But dang it, I’m so tempted to grab at those treats today and deal with the sour stomach tomorrow. I won’t. But that’s part of my choosing happiness. And it definitely isn’t the easiest choice in the world. I never thought that would be possible until I became a mom.
Love, love, love this post. You put it so well, the sacrifices of being an at-home mom, yet the rewards. My boys are young men now, and I can tell you, I am sooo happy I chose to be there with them through all those hard, demanding growing-up years. You will never regret your decision to be home with them. And before you know it, you will have young adults who you feel oh-so-privileged to have a great relationship with 🙂 God bless you in your mothering efforts. You’re doing the most important job in the world. Great post!
Thank you so much, Lynn. It’s always so wonderful to hear that encouragement from someone who’s been there and done that and seen the rewards.