Month: June 2008

From the annals of Hayden speak

Post author By Jordan
Post date 4:17 pm
4 Comments on From the annals of Hayden speak

Last night, I caved. Hayden hadn’t fallen asleep after an hour in bed (which is very unusual for him). I went in to him because he was starting to cry—and he instantly asked for toast. Coming from a two-year-old who can’t seem to gain any weight, and who only had a half of a sandwich for dinner, the pitiful cry for “toast” broke down my mean mom resolve and I brought him out for some toast.

Hayden is still working on many of the finer points of syntax (just wait until Linguistics 430, kid!), so his questions are often framed like, “Toast, me?” Or, one of our favorites, “Bite, me?”

So when Ryan was trying to tease Hayden into sharing his toast, Ryan said, “Bite, me?”

Apparently we’ve pulled this joke on Hayden too many times. Rather than offering his dad a piece of his toast, Hayden opened his mouth wide and aimed for Ryan’s nose.

Yep, kid. Your dad said “Bite me.” Good answer.

Tags talking, toddler

Kids/Parenting

Parenting FAIL

Post author By Jordan
Post date 1:07 pm
2 Comments on Parenting FAIL

Hayden has a small, crying monkey toy. Squeeze the monkey’s belly and he cries (or makes a monkey shriek, but Hayden has always called it crying). We call the monkey Baby Marty.

Today Hayden and I found Baby Marty while exploring his (not-so-) quiet time options. I handed Haydie the toy and he was very happy to see Baby Marty again—and of course, first thing, he squeezed Baby Marty’s belly.

When Hayden first got Baby Marty, he would make the toy cry, then cuddle it, holding it up to his shoulder to comfort the tiny monkey.

Today, though, he seemed to have changed his nurturing technique. After a few rounds of monkey shrieking, I asked Hayden, “What’s Baby Marty doing?”

“Cwying.”

“And what do we do when he cries?”

The old answer was to demonstrate loving up the monkey. But today, Hayden’s answer was:

“I s’ake!” And he shook Baby Marty.

He will probably not be the one in charge of helping to calm the baby when she comes.

Tags talking, toddler, toys, quiet time

Fulfillment

Dads are responsible (and important!)

Post author By Jordan
Post date 9:09 am
3 Comments on Dads are responsible (and important!)

The stats are alarming: more and more children are being born out of wedlock, divorce is on the rise, workaholism, absenteeism, and just plain abandonment result in more and more children being raised without fathers. Now, of course, I think mothers are wonderful and vital to a child’s growth and development—but really, we can’t do it all by ourselves.

Aside from potentially increasing the difficulty level of parenting for a mother, children who grow up without a father involved in their lives face long odds:

Boys without the substantial presence of a father are 70 percent more likely to commit violent crimes, and each year spent without a dad in the home increases the odds of future incarceration by 5 percent.

Girls without the substantial presence of a father are 150 percent more likely to become pregnant during the teen years and will experience 92 percent more marriage breakups than girls raised with two parents.

Both girls and boys raised without fathers are substantially more likely to be sexually abused than their peers in two-parent homes.

—As cited in Nurture the Nature by Michael Gurian

Does having a dad around automatically ensure that all will go smoothly for mothers and children? Of course not. But statistically speaking, it certainly helps.

With all these stats piling up around us, it’s easy to think that the world is sinking into a vicious cycle which can only perpetuate itself. But let me remind you: there are still lots of great dads out there. Dads that take the time to be involved in their children’s lives, whether or not they live together.

So here’s to all the dads that make the time to play with their children, help them with homework or chores, and really try to get to know them. Because there are still plenty of good, responsible dads out there (they just don’t always make the headlines).

Tags responsibility, making mother's day merry, father's day, making father's day merry, making father's day fabulous, fathers, dads, dad, father, responsible

Fulfillment

Dads are capable

Post author By Jordan
Post date 4:01 pm
7 Comments on Dads are capable

It’s easy and funny to think of dads as all but inept. Think of your favorite “family” sitcom. How many times does the dad on that show make a terrible parenting decision (usually with humorous consequences instead of, y’know, killing the children)? How many times does the dad on the show act lost when confronted by a problem in parenting? How many times does the mother have to bail him out of the mess he’s made as a parent?

Granted, these things are funny—very funny to mothers especially, because we get to look like the ones who know what’s up. But really, when you put it in generic terms instead of describing incidents from a show, it starts to sound less like “oh, there goes Dad again” and more like “yep, dads are supposed to fail.” And that’s not really funny . . . that’s kind of closer to what I call cruel. (But you don’t have to feel guilty for laughing; that’s what sitcoms are for, after all.)

When it comes to the real life dads around us, though, I certainly don’t see the same standard of behavior. My sample is probably biased, since maybe I do know more good dads personally.

But the vast majority of the men I know can change a diaper without any help. They can take care of the kids solo—and not call it “babysitting,” and not lose a child (literally or metaphorically). They can even bathe them and put them to bed all by themselves.

What can the dads in your life do that TV dads can’t?

We’re making Father’s Day fabulous this week!

Tags father, making mother's day merry, father's day, making father's day merry, making father's day fabulous, fathers, dads, dad

Fulfillment

Making Father’s Day Merry (Fabulous?)

Post author By Jordan
Post date 11:15 pm
1 Comment on Making Father’s Day Merry (Fabulous?)

Naturally, I made a rather big deal out of Mother’s day last month. But I also want to make a rather big deal out of Father’s Day (this Sunday!).

Really, this isn’t just in the interest of Title IV, gender equality, parity and all that. It’s because I really believe that honoring fatherhood is an important part of honoring motherhood.

It’s easy to find fault with fathers—and the media is a big help there. But for all the negative attention that dads get, I know that there are lots of fathers out there stepping up and doing a great job.

It’s also easy for we mothers to get so caught up in how difficult our lives are and how much is expected of us that we gloss over the expectations for father—and sometimes that’s partially because the media has set such a low expectation for them.

But guess what. There are lots of REAL DADS out there doing great things. Dads that are capable. Dads that are responsible. And though they’re not always the best at expressing it (or at least not how we expect them to), dads that are loving.

Dads are important. They’re not the same as mothers, but they’re still vital in their own role.

Want to brag on a dad in your life? Post a comment here—we’ll be talking about this for the rest of the week—or respond on your blog!