Categories
Ryan/Married Life

Bragging right

I have to brag about my husband. While he was home alone for two weeks, he tackled the huge project that has been on my to do list every month for more than a year. We don’t have any before pictures of our closet/laundry room, but let me describe it to you: The laundry shelf was organized—but that was about it.

There was a stack of very large Rubbermaid containers with some random things in them that reached to about hip height. Sometimes this stack ended up in front of the dryer door and had to be shoved aside. Usually it was between the extra washing machine and the built-in wood shelves, effectively blocking off 2/3s of the room. On top of the dryer and the extra washing machine were all manner of precariously stacked items that belonged somewhere deeper in the closet, but either we couldn’t get back there or they didn’t fit anymore. Things like Christmas decorations, painting supplies (we’ve been done painting for almost a year and a half)

The beyond there, the closet was completely impassible: a box fan, a storage drum, a couple hundred pounds of pasta (no, really), ski poles and boots (we haven’t been skiing since before we were married) (oh, and we have no skis), an old printer—and that’s just what was on top.

I was moved to tears to come home to this:
our closet

Oh, and did I mention that he does laundry—and dishes?

Categories
Kids/Parenting Ryan/Married Life Fulfillment Contests

June Group Writing Project Day Three

Wow, I’m going to run out of great things to say about the excellent entries for the June group writing project that are still coming in!

Today, we have seven more entries, bringing the total of submitted entries to 23!

Once again, read, share and comment—and don’t forget to submit your entries!


Today, three things I want my son to do just like his daddy:

  1. Be good. I once asked my husband what was the worst punishment his parents had ever given him. He couldn’t think of anything. He’d never done anything to be grounded or anything. (His mother has told me many times that he never gave them a minute of trouble or worry!)
  2. Be sweet. When I first met Ryan, I was deceived by what I perceived to be a “bad boy” act. He is really a good person—and very sweet (to me). If Hayden can be as gentle, caring and supportive to his wife as Ryan is to me, she’ll be a most lucky woman.
  3. Be dedicated to the best things. Ryan has been dedicated to all the right things in his life, from his (our) beliefs to a strict code of behavior (see #1) to his job to our family. He has his priorities right and has made sacrifices throughout his life, some of which have not been easy, to follow the higher good.

Okay, the honest-to-goodness truth: when I found out we were having a boy, I begged Ryan to let our son be just like him. He didn’t make any promises (darn!), but if I can say about my son what Ryan’s mother can say about him in 25 years, I will feel as though I’ve done better than my best as a mother (and, I hope, feel supremely fulfilled in my role as mother!).

Categories
Ryan/Married Life

You’re an enabler, and I thank you for it

Dear Ryan,

You’re an enabler, and I thank you for it.

You’ve enabled me to do things I never thought possible. Without you, obviously, I wouldn’t be a wife or a mother. Without you, I wouldn’t have survived the rough days and the impossible nights.

Your encouragement has often come in tacit signs—everything from a hug to taking Hayden somewhere while I tried to write or cook dinner. But, it seems, equally often, your encouragement has come through your supportive words. Everything from “You’re dinner” to “The house looks good, babe.”

This month your enabling has allowed me to leave you and Hayden alone while I went to a conference—at your encouragement.

In the almost three years that we’ve been married, you’ve enabled me to grow beyond myself so many times. In fact, even during the process, I couldn’t appreciate the changes, but looking back now, I realize how much I’ve grown with your encouragement.

I hope to be able to return the favor and enable you to continue to grow personally, “parentally” and professionally.

Happy Father’s Day.

I love you.

Love,
Jordan

Categories
Kids/Parenting Ryan/Married Life Fulfillment

Interview with . . . Me!

I’ve been doing several interviews lately, so I was excited to be interviewed as part of an interview meme by Mountain Mama. (I was even more excited to learn that she’s from the Old North State. Come on, you know, where the weak grow strong and the strong grow great.) (North Carolina. Geez.)

On to the questions!

Where is the one place in the world you have always wanted to go and why?
Europe. Probably because I’m an American. And beyond that, because I have a completely romanticized view of Europe. I dreamed of living in England when I was a teenager, and have since been quite taken with Spain (minored in Spanish in college). I’d also love to see Italy (again, highly romanticized view). Beforew we started dating, I learned my husband had backpacked through all these places. I could have smothered him with jealousy. I’ve made him promise to take me one day. I would have made him take me on our honeymoon there, but we thought it was better to go to New Zealand to meet his parents (they were missionaries there at the time).

What about you will most embarrass your children when they grow up?
Probably something terribly normal and stupid like driving them to school or wearing sweatpants or mom jeans. Possibly something obnoxious like this terrible tendency I have to always have to be right. Hopefully not our beliefs or a complete inability to shut up.

What skill or talent have you always wished you possessed?
Having a little boy, I should say athleticism. The only sport I can play is kickball. However, lately I’m really wishing I possessed patience. Man. And after playing the piano for 15 years, I wish I could play by ear. That’s probably the one I’ve “always” wished for. Or the best I can come up with right now.

Who or what do you think has been the greatest influence on your growth/development as a person and why?
Hands down, my religion. I made a quick list of things that it directly influenced: where I went to college, who and when I married, when we decided to have children, the closeness of my family of origin, the things I eat/drink, the standards I keep, the shows and movies I watch, the goals I have in life. Of course, my views on motherhood. It’s all encompassing and beautiful. Also, if it weren’t for my religion, my parents wouldn’t have met, being from opposite sides of the country—so basically I owe my entire existence!

What brings you the most satisfaction in life right now?
The little moments. Today, it was sitting on the couch with Ryan and Hayden. Snuggling with one (or better yet, both) of my boys and not having anything else in the world that I have to think or worry about, even if it’s just for that one minute. It’s especially sweet when Hayden initiates the snuggling. (I do like Ryan to initiate the snuggling, too, it’s just really special coming from my little boy who doesn’t have any other way to express his love.)

Want to be next?
Since this is a meme, it gets passed on. You know, memes are like viruses. Here’s how this one works:

1. Leave a comment, saying “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to choose the questions.

3. Update your blog with the answers to my questions.

4. Include this explanation and offer to interview anyone who asks.

5. When someone asks to be interviewed, you will email them five questions of your choosing and they will answer on their blog. And so on and so forth.

Categories
Random Ryan/Married Life

How Rummikub House Rules Almost Ended My Marriage

One big adjustment for me when I got married (I’m not kidding, this really might be the biggest thing that surprised me about Ryan.) (Okay, I am kidding that it almost ended my marriage.)—anyway, it was a big shocker to learn that not everyone played some of my favorite games the way my family did. I didn’t grow up playing Phase 10, but I could tell that the game could be somewhat like Monopoly and last forever (hence their adjustment to have everyone changes phases together on each hand, ending the game in 10 hands).

However, I did grow up playing Rummikub. My family quite enjoyed it. Our first set didn’t have directions in it (maybe it came from a thrift store) but we’d played it at my aunt’s house, so we already understood the premise.

Our House Rules for Rummikub

  1. Each player (or team) draws one tile from the pile. (Pile tiles should be well mixed and face down.) On the count of three, players reveal their tiles to everyone. The player holding the tile with the highest number goes first and play proceeds to the left (clockwise).
  2. Each player draws an additional 13 tiles from the pile, setting all 14 tiles in his/her tray.
  3. If the player who drew the highest number is able to play tiles from his/her tray, s/he does so.To play tiles, they must be either:
    • a “run”—three or more sequentially numbered tiles (1-2-3) all the same color.
    • a set of three or four tiles of the same number (10-10-10) of all different colors.
  4. If you cannot play on your turn, draw a tile from the pile. Play continues to the left.
  5. Another way to play tiles, once you have laid down at least one set or run from your tray, is to play tiles “against” runs and sets on the board. For example, if there is a red 5-6-7 on the board and you have a red 8 (and have already played a run or set of tiles from your tray), you can add your red 8 to the red 5-6-7.
  6. You can move tiles on the board around into different groupings, provided you play at least one tile from your tray and all tiles end up in proper groupings of three or more. This can be highly complex, such as rearranging five groupings and adding two of your tiles to create six new groupings, or simple, such as breaking up a run of 7-8-9-10-11 to make a run of 7-8-9 and a second run of 9-10-11. (This is the best part of the game!)If you can’t successfully wrangle the tiles into groupings of at least 3 tiles, you must return all tiles to their previous positions (including any tiles from your tray!).
  7. The jokers: There are two jokers in Rummikub. They are “wild” and can represent any tile and can be used to create runs or sets. If you are able to “free” the joker from a grouping on the table, it is once again “wild” and can be used as any tile on that turn only. You cannot “free” a joker from a grouping on the table and hold on to it for future use.
  8. As in card rummy, the ace is high/low. You may “round the corner” with a single color run of 12-13-1, but you may not proceed to 2 (unless you’re the oldest and can convince your younger siblings that you can) (but never to 3. Come on, there are reasonable limits to everything.).
  9. If ever you cannot play any tiles from your tray, you must draw from the pile. If you run out of tiles, play continues until you’re all stuck. (I don’t remember that ever happening.)
  10. You win by playing all of your tiles from your tray. Dancing and gloating is optional.

How these rules are different from traditional rules
The traditional rules, which I now know because my husband and I got a new Rummikub game, state that you must have a total 30 points to be able to play tiles the first time (points are added from the values on the tiles). This means that you could have four runs of 1-2-3 on your tray, but still not be able to play them. The joker can be included in the 30 points total. Tiles “played off of” someone else cannot count toward the 30 points.

The joker must be replaced by a tile of the same numerical value and color that it represented on the table. The rules state that you cannot replace the joker with another tile already played on the table; only a tile from your tray can replace a joker. If you have a set of 3 with a joker (red 10-blue 10-J), either remaining color (here black or yellow/orange 10) can replace the joker.

The official rules expressly prohibit “rounding the corner” with a 12-13-1. Poo on their shoes. (Games bring out my mature side.) (Which is why Ryan and I actually fought over something as stupid as a board game.) (Okay, it was mostly me doing the fighting!)

Ryan’s family’s house rules include that the joker cannot be played at all on your first turn laying down tiles, even if you have <30 points from the other tiles you’re playing. Also, when you play a joker in a set of 3 (red 10-blue 10-J), you announce the color that it represents. It can only be replaced by the tile designated.

Another house rule that I’ve encountered for Rummikub is that you cannot create a five tile run on the table (3-4-5-6-7), leaving a maximum of four tiles in a grouping. (The official rules expressly contradict this rule in their example plays, but if you like it, then who cares?)

Neither Ryan’s family nor mine kept score, although it is in the official rules.

Our hybrid
Ryan and I have developed a hybrid that allows us to play without fighting. We follow his family’s rules on the initial play (30 points, no jokers), and follow my family’s rules on the joker (if you can “free” it, you can use it how ever you want). This is also known as a compromise.

We plan to teach our children never to play by the real rules (although we probably will want to teach them both sets of grandparents’ rules, just so they’ll know how to play when they visit).


For more fun and games—or at least game rules—see Classic Kid’s Game Group Writing Project.

Categories
Ryan/Married Life

Dear Ryan

Dear Ryan,

I know you won’t see this until tomorrow, but I just wanted to tell you a few things.

I wanted to tell you thank you again for getting out the crock pot yesterday while I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get the stoneware clean, vegetables sliced and pot roast on. It may not have been a huge deal, but it was one little thing that helped my day go more smoothly. Plus, I liked that I didn’t even have to ask you to do it. You anticipated a need and fulfilled it.

I especially liked it because I felt like we were a team. I like to feel like we’re working in perfect synchronization.

I also appreciate how you usually notice if I’ve cleared off the kitchen counters or done the dishes or mopped or vacuumed. I appreciate you taking notice, thanking me for doing my daily chores, and saying, “The house looks good, babe.”

Thank you for giving Hayden his bath almost every single night for nearly a year now. I like to take those few minutes sometimes and decompress a little. But usually, I like to sit with my boys.

Thank you for being a competent father. You have excellent judgment when it comes to our son’s safety and wellbeing. You’re even very good at diapers. I’m so glad to have someone whom I love and trust to be right there with me to share my concerns and hopes for our son.

No, there’s no special occasion that you’ve forgotten (though it is my grandma’s birthday tomorrow). It’s just Monday.

I love you.

Love,
Jordan